Wednesday, April 9, 2008


Oh, what fun, fun, fun I had today at the doctor. I've been anxiously awaiting this day (not the good kind of anxious) since I scheduled the visit more than a month ago. But, it's finally over and it wasn't half bad. I went to the doctor for my regular check-up, but also to partake in the glucose test now mandated for all pregnant women (and men, too, if you've been watching Oprah, but that is a whole other story you don't even want me to get started on!). So you go in and drink this nasty sugar-filled drink and sit for an hour until they draw your blood. And by sugar-filled drink, I don't mean Mountain Dew. That is a walk in the park compared to this junk. It tasted like a glass of Gatorade with about 2 cups of sugar added to it. Five minutes to drink, sit, wait for an HOUR, then get your blood drawn for three tests, one of which is gestational diabetes. Luckily, outside of the sugar drink making me feel dizzy and a little loopy, all went well. They let me lay down, which is always a must since I tend to pass out every time I have blood drawn, and it makes everything much better. Having blood drawn is never pleasant, but add passing out and then having to drive home afterwards and it's really not fun...and I've done it too many times to count. But no news means good news, and no news came, so skip around the room, we're glad. 

The other part of my visit was just to check in on BT and see how he's doing. He has a good strong heartbeat, which is good, but the Dr. said I'm one of those whose belly doesn't pop out like some. More than likely, this is due to my uterus being towards my back rather than my belly, so she scheduled an ultrasound for next time just to check in on him and make sure all is well in tummy land. 

It's really crazy this whole people monitor you, how others look at you, how emotions effect you, the whole gamut. It's really been quite a test for me as an individual, so the tests I've had along the way that are mandatory have only been reminders that this whole thing is a test. And it's not one that will end on the labor table. I guess it's only the beginning. For being such a Type A, driven, perfectionist person, I have to say, I have felt relatively laid back during the course of this process - at least thus far. It has only just now begun to be hard for me. The gaining weight, the emotional roller-coaster, the feelings of anxiety and fear, the worry and self-doubt, the loneliness from not having other women in my world (but we're working on that!), etc. It's really just now setting in that this whole ride I've known as my life the past few years is all about to be turned topsy-turvy. Yes, in a good way, and yes, one I've always wanted (which Nathan reminds me daily), but also one that is going to test me in every way imaginable.  And while I do enjoy the occasional test, it's hard putting our lives in perspective of the whole thing being a test, even though that's what it has been up to now and it only feels as though there have been times of freedom. God is really challenging me to dig deep and know him more, to let him be to me what I have such a hard time allowing him to do. I am anxious, in a good way, for the change he will bring in me through not only this nine months, but for the rest of my life as it changes with this little dude. Bring it on! :)


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