Thursday, February 16, 2012

When you live with a three year old and an almost two year old, everyday life starts to seem like this odd blur of what reality truly is.  It gets old holding a "baby" (who's two!) in your arms every day for two to three hours. It gets old dealing with three year old temper tantrums and crying spells over the smallest most insignificant thing ever. It gets old going through a sixty hour work week and trying to figure out what to make for dinner at the end of a day that's lasted too long. It gets old trying to figure out why your three year old wakes up at 4:00 in the morning just to tell you he's awake. It gets old not being able to sleep, ever! And so on.

And as old as things get, the thing I keep trying to tell myself is that before I know it, I really will miss these things. At this very moment, I have a really hard time trying to get my mind around that. While I know it's true (I hear it too much to know it's not), it's so difficult to actually embrace these moments rather than wish they were over. It's a work in progress. But isn't everything?!?

I realize there will come a day in not too many years, when these two balls of fire and sweetness will want nothing to do with me and I'll miss the boogers, the poop, the potty training, the picky eating, and the days they cried over things like spilled juice. And so I grin and bear it. Not begrudgingly, but in joy as much as I possibly can. I try and find the amazing pieces of these little people God gave me to raise while we are living in these temporary bodies in our temporary home on earth. I will say it's not easy, and it's a daily struggle to remember to value the hard times along with the good, but I try my best. It's all we can ever do.

I value these little people. I love these little ones. I am amazed at their smartness, their wit, their humor, their curiosity, their zest for life, their desire for more, their utter open arms about just about everything, their childlike faith that all  people are good...they teach me something every day and I treasure the opportunities to learn from them. I have so much to learn. How I wish they could stay this age forever. I mean, grow up and be self-sufficient, but stay this age forever at the same time. Guess God has bigger and better plans for them than that. How different it will be to have relationships with them when they are grown and over me and dear old dad. I feel so blessed to have the chance to be a mommy...and discover life and love all over again through new eyes. What a gift God has given.