karaspeak

So the latest in the series of changes is how much my hormones are seriously going crazy. You read all over the place that the cocktail of emotions and hormones really comes to a head after you give birth, but who really believes that stuff? I guess I believe it now. During pregnancy, I didn't really deal with any rough stuff...no morning sickness, no unusual cravings, no crazy up and down emotions. I really had a phenomenal pregnancy overall...I can't complain, and I don't think I even did much of that until the last week when I was REALLY ready for Aiden to be here. Outside of the occasional fluke day of an emotional high or low, I was pretty even keeled and pregnancy suited me just fine. I loved being pregnant and have never felt a lot of the horrible things a lot of my friends complained about. It was freeing, almost exhilarating to be pregnant and have the freedom to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, to know there was a life growing daily inside me that would one day be outside (a real boy!) and was a part of me, a part of Nathan. It was pretty great.

So now that he's here...all those emotions (I guess the ones I didn't have through pregnancy) all seem to be rushing in at once. I mean, seriously, sheer elation to tears in a matter of seconds. Utter joy to complete desperation and sadness in the next breath. And then it all kind of gets back to the thing of who am I anyway? I mean, outside of Aiden's mom, who am I? Right now that is what it feels like, though I know it will change as time goes on...

Life went from being busy to being even more busy, leaving me to wonder what it was that kept me busy before Aiden. Our schedules are different, our moods are different, our ability to eat out whenever we want is a little more difficult, and our house even feels a little different. None of the different feelings are bad...just different. It's hard to describe, but you can just tell things have changed and only for the better since we now have this little wonder to share it all with...that wonder being Aiden of course.

And speaking of Aiden, the changes from his world (inside my belly) haven't seemed to impact him too much. I mean, he still sleeps a ton of hours during the day and pretty much gets to eat whenever he wants (thanks to the beauty of motherhood). And despite our feelings that it's a little harder to do things, he makes a great case for proving us wrong. Like tonight we went to an art show...a very adult thing for us in having a four week old. But it was a good friend of ours and we promised. So we went, child in tow. He had fallen asleep in his carseat and our plan was to stay about 20 minutes then leave. But after arriving at 6 and taking him inside (we hid him in a closet!), he slept the entire art show...until 10 pm when we arrived back home. It was a miraculous and beautiful thing. Did we find any art? No. Did we successfully enjoy an adult event? Yes. Did Aiden enjoy it as much as we did? Who knows, but he seems to like sleep and sleep he did.

All that to say, though we're experiencing all kinds of changes - hormonal, sleep, travel, schedule, etc. they are welcome and new...and only preparing us for the many years of changes we have yet to come. Should be fun!