karaspeak

Today we had our 33 week check up and ultrasound to check in on BGT and make sure she is still growing even though I am not! These visits always make me nervous, not because I fear something will be wrong, but for probably the very same reasons I fear having two kids in the house before I actually HAVE to kids in the house - what we tell ourselves in our minds is often so very different in reality. And though, at times, it is worse in reality than it is in our minds, so very many more times it is not...and this is my hope!

So anyway, all seems well and fine in the little one's world. My fundus (or my preggo belly in layman's terms) did manage to grow a week over the two that have passed since my last visit, so I'm now at 27 weeks. And our little peanut is measuring fine right around 31 weeks - so just 2 weeks behind, even though the space she's living in is 6 behind! How this is possible, I do not know. But it is my pregnancy reality...it was very similar with Aiden, I just thought it would be different with my second. Oh well. The bad news, if you can call it that, is that her growth dropped from the 42nd percentile to the 21st, so half of what it was a month ago. And even though she wants me to start eating 1,000 more calories at day (WHAT!?! Not possible.), my doctor isn't concerned quite yet, and won't be until she drops below the 10th percentile. We go back in two weeks for normal weight, fundus, dialation check, and will more than likely have another U/S the week after that. So we'll have a better idea in then, so just hanging on for that visit.

It's funny, though, having regular ultrasounds and taking the opportunity to get to "know" your child before they arrive. Seeing the way they reside in the small space they've been given and wondering how that will coincide with how they will reside in the large space they explore when they are released! Aiden still has so many mannerisms that he did in the womb, and I love the fact I had the opportunity to recognize that. BGT has the same little profile that Aiden did and THANK GOODNESS her head is smaller! :) Hooray! There are days I say I'm ready for her to be here 1) so I can meet her, 2) so I can stop having somone kick my rib cage all night, and 3) so I can put to bed the fear that I have and hope is worse than reality. But then I realize I really am not quite ready. God knows that too, thankfully, and doesn't grant my wish when I do voice it. It's allowing me some precious time with Aiden right now. As awful as it is having Nate gone all day, my "Boogs" and I have been able to have some amazing time over the last week or so, and I really enjoy it. I enjoy the mess out of him and never want him to feel neglected or "less" than this new person that will soon be coming in to take over the world as he knows it. I love that he loves to cuddle with me in the afternoons and at rest time and bed. I never want that to go away. And while I know it will, I am doing what I can so savor each moment (even if it's stressful) that I have with him.

So, here we sit, BGT and I, as we play the waiting game in these last few weeks of her time with me in the quiet, small space she lives in. So protected, so safe, so silent. Let's hope and pray the next few weeks are as quiet, as sane, as safe, as productive (there is still so much to do!), and enable us to truly enjoy the time we have as a trio.