karaspeak

Not much has been going on at our household the past few weeks, which is some ways has been kind of nice. In other ways, I think it only exists as the calm before the storm of life is inevitably going to kick up again. What I've been struck with most recently is why it is that we fear the unknown or just fear in general whether "it" be known or not. And even though I have this amazing track record with God, who's shown me time and time again that my fear is unnecessary because He's got me and there is no fear in Him....I still find msyelf there sometimes. I would say with my own life fear tends to manifest itself more in the form of "worry" rather than actual fear of __________ (fill in the blank), but neither of these are good to carry around and should be squelched as quickly as possible because they only tend to grow, not dissipate, over time. And as they grow, it lessens our ability to remember the times when God brought us out of fear and into light as we move through change, tough times, and hardship.

So, here I find myself in a place where I fear, not necessarily anything in particular other than just what lies ahead and how in the world it's all going to shake out. To overcome it, and remind myself how faithful God has been, how many times He's proven himself to me, and how little I have to actually fear, I took the time to write out what it is I fear, or what I worry about most. It was a much longer list than I suspected. Either that, or most of my fear boiled down to only a few simple core things. Isn't that the way it is? Though all of our fears tend to look different on the outside, most all of the little fears boil down to a few simple core things when we really take the time to sit down and rationalize them. After I did that, I went back and wrote down all the times God has brought me through a time of unknown, a time of hardship, and all the places and times when He has proven most faithful. This list was long, like way more than twice the length of my fear list. This simple fact alone should tell me I have nothing to fear but fear itself. Okay, that is cliched, but really...shouldn't that be enough to remind me of all the times He's proven me wrong and come through when I thought there was no hope? That question begs another. If indeed He has come through time and time again, why do we still let fear creep in during those uncertain times?

While I can't indefinately answer that question, I do think it has to do with our mistrust of His goodness to us. That this time our good luck could be up. That we've worn out our welcome. Finally asked too much of him, so much so that he is revoking his grace. Oh, the list could go on. But the reality is, if you go back and look at your life again, you'll see he's never let you down. Even in the times when it looked like he did in the moment, the outcome was so much more than you could have ever expected it would be. The same goes for all of history, just check it, it's in the Bible...time after time of his faithfulness overcoming fear. So as I work through this fear and finger by finger unleash the hold I think I have on it, I realize my best interest is what he has in mind. What is the worst that could happen? At the end of the day I still have my amazing family, a life full of love, and something better on the other side. It's just the waiting part that's tough. But, if I sit back and relax, remember how many times he's shown up for me and how awesome the outcome has been, all that can happen is experience sheer and utter freedom. How can I be afraid of that?

So, fear and worry, get on on the street. No room for you here. Go find someone else to haunt and teach them how to throw you out too. It's about all you're good for anyway.