karaspeak

Nathan has this book on the shelf in our office called, Letters to Philip. While I've never read the book, it is actually a collection of letters from a father to his son before he gets married. It's a fairly old book, but still finds its place on our shelves among some other great books. Anyway, the point is that one day while I was holding Aiden at my desk, it occurred to me to do start my own letters to Aiden. There's not much thought to this yet and I'm not sure exactly what my vision is, but my idea is to kid of collect my thoughts (and whoever else's) in the form of letters to Aiden as he grows up.

I've just been struck with the fact that he changes so much every day. It hit me so much more after I returned from Arizona and after being away from him for only three days, he had changed SO MUCH. But while I was gone, I thought about all the things that are so "Aiden" about him and I want him to know those things from my perspective, as his mom, when he gets older. I started doing this when he was a few weeks old, mostly because I had so much going on in my head about him as this new thing in my world, my thoughts, feelings, emotions. And not only me, but what he was doing, what his expressions were, what he laughed at, all those little things that we forget within 24 hours because in 24 hours it's something different they are doing, or thinking, or laughing at. There's not really any method to my madness, and not necessarily any particular topics come to mind, but I'm just writing him notes, letters, comments, thoughts, etc. as they strike me. It's not even a daily thing as much as it is an emotional thing.

I want him to know all I see in him from now until he is old and grey and while I may not even ever give him this collection (while I'm alive at least!) at least I'll have my memories kept in a place so I never forget how he changed my world forever. With Christmas right around the corner and a six-month milestone not far beyond that, I realize how much time has already passed and how fast it will only go from here. I don't want to miss a thing and I want him to know how very loved he is for every second of it.