karaspeak

Me: Hello. My name is Kara. I am a vampire addict.
Group: Hello, Kara.

Yes, as much as I hate to admit being a follower of sorts, two weeks ago, I, probably much like many of you have just finished a chapter of my life by finishing what seems more than 300 chapters of the vampire series, Twilight. A friend of mine was finishing the series and gave me the first book in the series, Twilight, for my birthday. As I began reading, I was truly hooked within a matter of pages. It became my evening ritual. I would go to bed around 10 and give myself about thirty minutes to read. The habit served more than one purpose - one, to get my brain engaged and reinstate my love for reading, two - to help me turn off the TV before bed and minimize the stimulating effect of the LED light on my brain, thus allowing me to sleep better, and three - helping me go to bed at a decent hour so I could get up early with my little one. I guess those goals are null and void if you end up reading for more than an hour and are so insanely heightened by what you're reading that you just keep turning pages. As one might imagine, many nights that half hour was prolonged, but I justified it by the fact that I missed a few nights here and there.

Anyway, I don't really have a point other than to rave about my massive love of this series - Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. How in the world I got addicted to reading about vampires and werewolves, I have no idea, but in the course of discussing this series with people as I encounter them, I discovered one glaring fact that separates all readers of the books. You are either an Edward (vampire) or Jacob (werewolf) adorer (is that a word?) . If you read the books, you'll know what I mean, but typically, no one likes (or maybe loves is more appropriate here) both of them. Bella, our heroine in question, must essentially decide if she is an Edward or a Jacob. And thus, we as readers must choose. So for the record, I'll go ahead and stake my claim as an Edward. Some of you may think I am crazy and some of you may not have the slightest clue what I'm talking about, but I am an Edward. Why? Well, I thought you might ask. Just for insanity's sake, I'll discuss briefly and let you all go out and read the book to decide for yourselves.

- Edward is smart, intellectual, and learned
- Edward protects the people in his life to the ends of the earth
- Edward is emotional and shows anger as easily as he shows tenderness
- Edward is the "tall, dark, and handsome" most girls dream of
- Edward has a chiseled body, cut like stone
- Edward is strong, both physically and emotionally
- Edward has this indescribable statuesque quality
- Edward is debonair, smooth, and masterful with words
- Edward knows how to talk to a lady to make her feel like the center of his world
- Edward has impeccable taste
- Edward dresses to the nines
- Edward drives fast, and always in out of this world cars
- Edward can make any girl blush at the drop of a hat with his sensual nature
- Edward is drop dead sexy with the way he tunes in to every piece of you
- Edward is completely in tune with the thoughts of his woman (and hers is the only mind he can't read!)

There are countless things I could ramble off about Edward, but these are a few of the reasons I am a fan of Edward, not that Jacob is not great or even most of these things, but he just displays them differently than Edward does. Edward reminds me of my Nathan...with the small exceptions in that Nate does not drink blood for his diet, is not invincible (much to my chagrin), and won't live forever. He's just my cup of tea.

To the new year...to say the least. At our house, we have seen our fair share of interesting events over the past few weeks and I can't say they have all been "good," so I'm not sure if it indicates bad things are in store for 2009, or if it's just a way to test our capacity for "stuff." Regardless, it got me thinking about the past few years and all we've gone through and realized that we are indeed still here. I pinched myself just to be sure. Though we didn't experience a lot of peril, danger, or death in previous years, we have had our fair share of experience, and "process" as we like to call it in our house. And though most people shy away from the tough stuff of life that brings you from one side to the other, we seem to find ourselves embracing it ever more gratefully each time we find ourselves there. The theme we embraced for 2008 was EMBRACE THE CHAOS. With a move, a pregnancy, the birth of our son, our parent's move, job changes, and seeming loss, there were not many other ways to see it than utter chaos.

And while at first, the thought of chaos to a TYPE A, Monica-esque freak of perfection nature strikes utter fear and panic into my very being, I learned (with lots of help, I might add) that if I embrace it and welcome it into my world, God would have so much more to teach me in the chaos...and ultimately on the other side. So as it appears from the first few weeks of 2009 that this year will hold only more chaos than the year we just left, I feel so much more equipped to handle the unknown. Not only for myself, but for Nathan, for Aiden, our friends, our family...hopefully I can provide insight to their chaos, meaning to their struggles, support in their times of trial.

I am holding on for dear life to this ride of a lifetime. We only get one shot at it, so I might as well make the best of the shot I've been given, even if it means facing sadness, pain, fear, or hard times. Thankfully we made it through the adventures of the past few years and hopefully they'll pale in comparison to what we face in the coming years, not because they are any less choatic and insane, but because we are better equipped with the vision to bear in the process of getting to the other side.

How can it be that my little one has grown
From the baby in my belly to sitting on his own?
His sweet little face and big brown eyes
Remind me each day how fast time flies.
To the doctor we went to get weighed and measured
More shots this time 'round, much to my displeasure
On the scale he went weighing 13 and some change
My little peanut's still in the 5% range,
But from his head to his toes his length is 23,
Baby Aiden is growing up - fast like a weed!
Next up was his check, which means he gets shots
Four big ones this time, and since Mom does not
Do well with the sight of my boy in pain,
I enlist Daddy Nate to help keep me sane
By holding him down while the nurse does her thing
Before I know it it's over, I hear his crying.
With the visit almost done, I get to cuddle my boy
Hold him tight in my arms, as I shed a tiny tear of joy.
It's so hard to believe we're standing here at six months
Of age. It's gone by so fast, in a flash, all at once
He went from brand new to this in a blink of an eye.
I can only imagine how much faster time will fly
From this point forward, as he changes and grows
Into a toddler, a man, and God only knows
The path he will take as he ventures through life,
But I pray every day for his path and his wife.
As much as I dread the fact that he's getting older
I know he has to grow up, but he'll allways have my shoulder
To lean on, to sleep on, to surpass with his height,
Hard to see it now, but it gives me such delight
That I'll be able to watch this little boy live
Come to know God, how to love, and how to forgive.
A part of me and a part of my Nate
Our little Booger Bear can hardly wait
To walk, to talk, to run around and play
But I can wait for those days as I relish in today.
There's a three month pause before going back to the doc
No shots at that visit, but we'll be setting the clock
Forward again as three more months pass by
And I'm sure I'll be wondering what happened and why
He has to grow up and why it goes by so fast
But I'll be relishing that moment with new moments passed.
My prayer for my Aiden as the months and years fly
Is that he would know Jesus Christ and that he came to die
So he could live and be free to experience a journey
With the ultimate result being heaven for eternity.

My little teething guy on his six month "birthday"

Aiden plays with his glow-worm from Eliot on his quilt from Great-Grandma Poage

The last week of 2008 was a blur, and I'm sure the next 52 of 2009 promise much of the same. With a nearly six-month old clawing at my heels, I can only imagine where this next year will go. As I think back, I can see such growth in 2008. Despite the fact that I did not set any specific goals, per se, I can see a new person in the shoes of the girl that began this year. Among some of the highlights I recall.

Being pregnant, and with it:
- Achieving a healthy pregnancy
- Gaining a new perspective on eating, body image, and weight.
- Finishing a 5k race at 7 months pregnant. And enjoying it.
- Becoming a mom

Becoming a mom, and with it:
- Learning to balance time as a mom and time as a wife.
- Realizing my capacity to love is so much greater than I could have ever imagined.
- Seeing God's compassion for me, his child, with a new set of eyes.

Stepping out in faith to move, and with it:
- Watching God fill the gaps we thought would exist (with finances, with friendships, with relationships, with when leaving everything we knew.
- Being a part of my parents own journey into their next phase of life.
- Meeting some incredible people who have challenged me to grow deeper as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and child of God.

There is so much more, but these are the main things that stick with me as I look back.

As I look forward, I have set a few goals for 2009...and I hope to attain most (if not all) of them. My Type A personality needs goals, though the time I have is spent so differently now, I hope they don't become to unrealistic after a month! The compounding factor to this year is that I also reach a major milestone as regarded in this human life I have to live...yes, the almighty 30 finds me in 2009. And while I am not driven by numbers, I do have some things on my list to accomplish...more than half of which I have already achieved, and will detail in another posting, as it doesn't belong here. So on with the things I seek in 2009 in no specific order (I know, appalling!):

• Read the Bible every day
• Finish 12 books, novels, etc. (books, not magazines!)
• Run a half marathon
• Go on a date once a week. (with my hubby of course; see note* for further clarification)

* This term "date" does not mean spend money on a meal, but just spend time out
of the house and on our own away from Aiden to remember that we are first and
foremost, husband and wife. Even if that means spending time at the good old
Border's for some one on one reading and coffee. Regardless, to get out of the
house and talk, dive in, breathe, and appreciate one another.

• Build deep and lasting friendships (dig deep into others' lives and not let myself or them get away with surface level conversations, or to let myself shy away from reaching out)
• Find a church home
• Pay off a loan
• Take at least one vacation (like how I say, "at least one"? I will gladly welcome more!)
• Worry less, encourage more

That's what comes to me now. I may add to it as I go forward, but we'll see how these go first. What's the biggest thing you seek in 2009?

It is beyond belief we are at the end of a year. A year in which so much happened and in which God changed our lives in so many ways...most of them for the better. Ha!

As we gear up to head into the beginning of the end, we look forward to friends, family, giving, sharing, and a whole lot of memories - being remembered and created. This Christmas we were able to have the celebration at our house, which was fun on multiple levels, but mostly because we didn't have to travel with the little dude across the country packing all of his stuff and probably incurring some sort of virus along the way. That, in and of itself, is a blessing to be able to avoid. But it was a fun adventure decorating the house, planning the menus, wrapping gifts and stacking them under the tree, and doing all things festive.

My parents and brother came up on Tuesday to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our little trio of a family. Mom and I spent most of Tuesday cooking and preparing our Christmas Eve meal while the boys watched an array of TV, movies, and football. We had fun putting together Aiden's toys for Christmas morning on and off throughout the day and finally geared up for Christmas Eve Dinner. We decided to do things a bit differently this year since we weren't at my parents house and did a formal Christmas Eve Dinner after the little dude (Aiden) was in bed. It allowed us to have some adult time and enjoy a nice dinner. To compensate, we also planned a brunch for Christmas Day followed by several rounds of snacking and leftovers. We also toned things down some from Thanksgiving since we were having two meals instead of one big one. All in all it worked out well.

After dinner we opened our gifts from the Poage grandparents, which keeps in line with the tradition we had growing up since they were the side that always celebrated on Christmas Eve. Then we all tucked in for the night.

Christmas Day was super fun and the opening of gifts and the eating of food drew out for most of the morning leading up to a brunch at lunch time. It was so fun to see the joy on Aiden's face as he dove for the boxes, ate the ribbon, and ogled over his new-found toys. While he didn't really get all that was going on, he did have fun from what we can tell. This year we were able to enjoy a true miracle in Aiden's birth and to be able to see his joy as an innocent baby come out was truly thrilling as his mom.

That night Nathan and I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and really, really enjoyed it - the cinematography, the character development, the plot, and the special effects. We both came away with tears in our eyes and a realization that our sweet, innocent baby boy will have to endure the discovery of the awful things that comprise this sinful world. Our prayer, now more than ever, is that Aiden will come to know our Savior at an early age and that he would be impressionable and sensitive to the Spirit as both Nathan and I were as children. It struck me how very little I will soon be able to control about his little world and it made me sad to realize his pain in discovering all the trappings of this world. But the thing I am most grateful for is that the people in his life know, love, and exude Jesus every day and I can't wait to see the joy he already has amplified by the one true Joy.

All in all it was such a great Christmas and I can't wait to see what is in store for us the New Year!

I'm writing on my other computer, but will post some pictures when I get synched up. Trying to get cleaned up and caught up (still!) after the holiday season.

So I keep track of the finances in our little family mostly because I'm super Type A and a former accounting major. I actually enjoy it. Sick and sadistic? Yes. But completely mind releasing to me? Yes. I know. I'm weird, so sue me. While things in our budgetary world are not wildly out of control in our world (yet!), the crazy economy has caused me to be a little more conscious of things as of late. I have always used some kind of software to track our budget and spending habits, produce silly trend graphs and pie charts which may seem a little over the top for some, but speak to my "Monica-esque" nature. Up to now I've found it fairly time consuming to download and run statements each month through Quicken, but have been turned on to a handy dandy site called MINT which has already made my life (and pie charts) a breeze.

In short, it's a one-stop shop to enter all your accounts: bills, loans, credit cards, retirement accounts, checking and savings accounts, investment accounts, etc. and see them in one place, tracked by the minute and analyzed based on the budget you set for yourself. It will email you (or not if you choose) when you have a bill due, when you're over or under budget in an area, and to send you a statement with your spending habits, charts, etc. You simply enter in all your account numbers and passwords to their secure site and watch the magic happen. It's really quite amazing and I've been wildly impressed with the ability of the program thus far.

I encourage you to try it. It's free...and requires very little for you. You can let it track it all or just the basics. But regardless of how you use it, I think it takes a load off of all the downloading, naming conventions, etc. associated with most of the programs out there. It operates like Quicken in that you can create and modify the categories, but just takes a few steps out of the process, buying us all a little time. And who can't use the extra time these days?

A friend of mine sent me this link to Elf Yourself. While I'd seen this in year's past, I never took the time to do it. But this year, I partook in all the Elfing festivities. Here's our little Country Christmas dance. Check it out here: