karaspeak

Sunshine and Birthdays

2012-01-31T19:37:00.002-06:00

As I was running yesterday, I was struck with the fact that it was January 30, and I was running in sunny, warm 60+ degree weather, and felt so in awe of this incredible "winter" we've had I just ran for sheer enjoyment and forgot about time...well, kind of. I mean, I was running a 5 mile tempo run, so you kind of have to pay attention to time. And plus, if you're me you can really not ever stop thinking about time, but I tried. It lasted a few minutes, or seconds, either way, it was blissful. This time last year I was running in 19 to 30 degree weather. Nearly every training run I did was in snow, ice, rain, or clouds. And my winter weather wardrobe got it's fair share of wear. But this year, I've had to go and get the tank tops I put in storage back out so I can wear them. It's amazing. My kind of winter!

The other thing I was thinking about on my run was the fact that Teagan is soon going to be TWO! My sweet baby girl, who a year ago was just learning to talk and walk is now a fully functioning toddler who can do just about anything she puts her mind to. While we were going to have a full out party for her, the more I think about it, the more I just want to celebrate with my nearest and dearest, the ones who know Teagan the best and appreciate all she's accomplished in her second year of life. I'd really like to do another Elmo party because she does love her some Elmo and Abby. We did one for Aiden and it was super cute, and I think she'd really enjoy the theatrics.

When I got back from running I began digging for ideas about how to make the party more girly. As I was digging, on Pinterest of course, I found Hostess with the Mostess had done it again. She posted THIS incredible party. I mean, look at this party. A-mazing.

So of course I began re-thinking my decision to do a small family party when I saw this incredible party. But alas, I think I will stick with the plan and do my amazing family affair, but just blow them out of the water with this amazing party! :)

But still, the fact that she is two is just astonishing. I can't believe my ears and eyes. She becomes more of a lady every day. She loves on people. She is polite. She has this incredibly gifted sense of humor for being nearly two. She laughs all the time. She is smart. She talks so well. She knows all her colors and most of her numbers...and even in the right order! She loves to be held. She loves to read. She remembers everything, even when you think she might not being paying attention. She is obedient. And she is mine for this short time on earth that our amazing Father let us borrow her. She is a precious and valuable gift. I pray for her every day...every minute of every day. She is another ray of sunshine on my life. Like this winter, she is my warmth in the cold. I am forever changed by her. I can't wait to see the woman she becomes. I'm already proud of her, can't imagine how much more proud I could get, but I think God will continue to surprise me with this little miracle.

Words, when there are none…

2012-01-08T22:36:00.001-06:00

After being able to work from home for more than four years, traveling every week to every other week has not been easy. However, there are some amazingly bright spots amongst the travel. Some of that business related, some of it personal, some of it relates to coming home. All of it interesting, not always easy, but good.

For example, you might meet someone super interesting on an airplane and pass an hour speaking with them about their lives and / or their business and potentially find a new job. Or, you might walk around a nearly empty shopping mall alone which you might not have done in years? It is one thing I have found to do to pass the time when I finish an exhausting day of back-to-back meetings and "being on."

One of the best things about traveling, and having little children, if there can be a good thing about traveling with little children, is that when you come home, they've learned something new. They speak new words, day spell new words, they run, they hop, they tell you "I miss you when you're gone," they learn to say other phrases that you've never heard before, and they learn to tell stories. For me, this has been the greatest joy in traveling this year. In a few short months that I've traveled, Teagan has only gone from 18 months to 21 months. But in those few short months, she has learned to run, talk more productively, eat more effectively on her own, and eat everything in site, loves Mexican food, and after this last trip to say, "yeah" to things like it was no big deal and "Paaa-weeeeze"(Please!) in the cutest voice I've ever heard.

What a joy it is to be able to watch these two babies learn to put words to things when they have not had words for them before - only finger points, grunts, huhs, nods, and screams. It's been an amazing adventure and one I've grown more fond of in my time away from home because you see how quickly they adapt, learn, and grow when you are separated from them even for a few short days. God is so good. My children are so smart. And I cannot wait to see what words He gives them over the course of their lives.

My sweet Teagan Bean - 21 months old and full of life!

My Aiden Dude. Three years old and eating ice cream. Per usual!

Testing this...

2012-01-01T21:27:00.002-06:00

How about that?! I just posted a blog from my phone... bring it! Here's to hoping this will mean more posts in 2012. This is how I rang in my new year. Listening to the drums played on pots and pans and making black-eyes peas. How about you?

It's Vegas, Baby!

2011-08-18T13:03:00.001-05:00

Relationships with women are interesting. Not only are those relationships difficult to manage and foster as girls, but it seems to remain true as we age and build relationships as grown women. As I've aged, I have found it to be equally as difficult to make and maintain girlfriends as it was in middle school. So I have learned how to foster the few I treasure and be okay with "surface-y" relationships with all the other women I'm around. That said, it isn't often we meet other women who we can be real and honest with, be 100% of who we are around, and not fear losing the friendship, offending her, or worrying she might spill the deep, dark secrets you revealed to her in a gossip-filled dinner one night. While I know people that have tons of female friends, I've just never really been one of those women; but instead have always been more comfortable in the company of guys. To be short, they're just less drama...and that's how I roll!

I say all of this because when I really do find a good, solid, trustworthy, loyal friend, I hang on to her, I work at the friendship, I bare my soul in complete faith, and do whatever I can to keep the bond and appreciate every bit of that friendship for all it is and all it offers - even if sometimes it's heartbreak. I do this because I know I'll get it back just the same as I give it out, what I share will be held in high confidence, who I am will be regarded with high esteem, and I will be held accountable for my actions. Women need these types of friendships far more than they need people to gossip with. One such friend of mine, Meghan, I met over 6 years ago at our wedding as merely a guest of one of our groomsmen. Though I'd not ever met her before that day, I have never regretted that boy's decision to bring her as his date. Their relationship (dating, not wedded) has ended, but as we jokingly say, "I got Meghan in the divorce." Despite having crazy jobs and living in different cities (or states) during the entire length of our friendship, we have only grown closer, more deeply involved, and more consistent over time. I'm grateful to call her a forever friend.

Because we live in different places and most of our friendship takes place on text, email, facebook, phone calls, etc. we decided we needed to get away for a quick girls trip. Though it'd be easy to do one of our two cities, for some reason Vegas became the city of choice for this long weekend away. Not really sure how that happened...but we found ourselves on an early morning flight from Atlanta to Vegas, baby.

So off we went one Wednesday morning. But let me preface this trip by saying that the night before our early morning departure, my dear sweet friend totaled her car. And she still left town with me in spite of being hurt, broken, and bruised not only emotionally but a little physically, too. It's this that makes Meghan my forever friend. She shows up. She cares enough to sacrifice and be there despite personal tragedy. And she gives her all. Even though we lost about four hours in the air, most of which we slept, of course, we still managed to arrive at 9:30 in the morning...but since we'd been up since dark, felt like it should be lunch time...or nap time if nothing else. It's odd, having your body tell you it's 1:00 in the afternoon even though it's still morning. But what do you do but roll with it. We were off to see some sites, eat some food and lay by the pool before we found some high roller tickets to go see "O" at the Bellagio that night. Before bed that day, we'd already seen more hotels than we could count, and ridden a roller coaster through one of them, and started into some amazing conversation. We spent the next day (the ENTIRE day) at the pool. Lounging, talking, catching up, challenging each other, listening to each other's vices, wants, desires, needs, and giving honest and open advice. We met people, we talked with strangers, we got burnt to a crisp, but we had a blast. I love this part about my relationship with Meghan. Nothing is hidden from view, and she still loves me for it. Maybe even in spite of it. That is a rare gift in a friend, but one for which I am beyond grateful.

We found ourselves dining on some fabulous Mexican fare at the Palazzo that night. For FREE might I add! And I think between that meal and the others, we found ourselves either eating Mexican or french fries at every meal. Why? Not sure, but it was the way it was. The next day we toured some of the hotels, shopped a little, and took in the heat of Vegas while wandering (and getting lost) in the maze that is the hotel feast in Vegas. There was lots of people watching. Lots. There was more talking. Lots. And there was fun. Lots! After some nap time and some time spent shopping for some gifts for my kiddos, we were off to enjoy our evening on the town. We learned a little about black jack and met some funny people and took our pictures with more funny people. People that get dressed up as random people just for tips. Go figure. Before we knew it we were saying goodbye to our quite remote controlled room at the Aria and headed for the airport.

How quickly it went from arrival to departure, but the memories made and the fun had was more than I could recount in this short note; however, I left a richer person, and knowing I needed to take more time for myself with other women as often as I can. While I don't have a terribly large amount of people I can do this with, I need to capitalize on what I do have. I think it makes me a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and a better woman. Able to give more to whoever is in my world and able to see with new eyes. I'm grateful this time away provided me all that and a new view into the soul of a dear friend whom I am able to provide for even across the miles. Thank you. I love you. I can't wait to do it again!

Superhero Party: Super Aiden is Three!

2011-07-11T12:19:00.001-05:00

What a fast year it's been, but my "BABY" boy is now three! What a fun time we had at his party. I wanted to do a real party this year because I felt like this was the first year he really understood what people were doing when they brought gifts and came over to celebrate...it was all going to be for him! And I wanted him to feel really special.

So for Aiden's birthday this year, we had thoughts of doing a Super theme...after being inspired by a Hostess with the Mostess blog about this A-mazing party which was also for a three year old. Even though all the parties she features are fabulous, this one just caught my eye as something Aiden would really love to get into. So we did our own version of this party on a budget, of course, as only we know how! Needless to say it was both fun to plan and fun to throw and I think all the kiddos had a blast! We had kids from Aiden's class, kids from the neighborhood, and family all there to help us celebrate in style and I think it was a hit! I had my brother create an awesome invitation.

After that went out we had a good amount of buzz about our party and everyone was pretty excited including me. I ordered capes for our family...they turned out so cute, thanks to the ladies at Pip and Bean...they helped me out with my particular requests and last minute changes. The capes turned out awesome. I also ordered capes from Sew Plain Jane to give away as party favors. We added an initial to each cape and created a "kit" full of stars, hearts, and other super treats for them to decorate their cape either at the party or when they got home. Our thing with parties for Aiden is to always have a bounce house of some kind, so this year we got a huge water slide for the kids which ended up being really fun! We even provided towels for the mess! We had all kinds of snacks and super treats for the kids and set up a candy bar for everyone to take home some sweet treats. To top it off we sang to the Super Boy of honor and dove into the cupcakes with homemade toppers...which turned out great! We were lucky enough to have sweet Lillian come and take pictures of the party for us, and since she does all of our family pictures, it made it extra special for her to see this fun and loving party time! Enjoy the pictures!

All in all it was a super fun party and I can't wait to dream up one for Baby Girl in another six months! Should be fun. I think Aiden felt really THREE and really SUPER!

Easter Weekend

2011-04-27T13:15:00.002-05:00

After a long, sad good-bye to our dear Taylor ("Taya" as she will forever be known), we were headed to Knoxville for the long Easter weekend. Nate and I took the day off on Friday since Corporate America doesn't recognize anything related to Jesus, and gave ourselves a three-day weekend. We were looking forward to celebrating Buddy's birthday (27, wow!!) and some time with Pa-Mimi at their place rather than at ours. It was such a fun weekend full of fun, laughter, good food, and lots of fun memories.

We spent Friday at the mall, where Aiden was finally able to ride the much anticipated West Town Mall Train. He'd been talking about it since Christmas, where he feared for his life every second he was on it. No one really knew if he was going to ride it with a smile or with tears, but we were all hoping for the best. And the best it was, he LOVED the train, Teagan did too. It was fun. We got to say hi to the Easter bunny, from a distance of course, as we were not about to go anywhere close to him other than waving "hi!" Quite a funny boy, that Aiden. We went for a run in the park that afternoon and then played outside after naptime before Nate and I got to go on our date night.

April Fools...

2011-04-09T15:03:00.033-05:00

While I didn't get any jokes played on me the week of April Fool's, the week after I found myself asking, "It is still April Fool's Day?" I had the most awful week on every level last week - as a mom, as an employee, as a parent, and just as me! I don't even know where to begin, I guess just in order... but I will say I'm glad it's over and I'm hoping for a bright spot in the week to come.

As a Mom, I had my first "Mama Bear" moment or whatever you want to call it. While I've experienced times of protection in the past, with Aiden in particular, I haven't really ever felt violated as a mother before. It was a challenging situation to deal with on multiple levels, but emotionally being the most pronounced. Guess a lesson learned on many counts, but most importantly, to not feel guilty for ever coming to your child's rescue regardless of who you might offend in the process. That said, I'm glad I had the moment and I'm also glad it's over!

Work was one extreme level after another. I had zero free time, I was working insane hours, and then trying to be a good mom after I got done was nearly impossible. Early morning conference calls, late afternoon emergencies, zero time for lunch, runs, or even just quick hugs from my kids. I hate weeks like that. Though we all have them, I just hate them.

To make matters worse, our nanny, Taylor told us she'd been offered an internship in the Metro schools to do ESL which is what she'll be going to Graduate school in the fall to pursue. We LOVE "Taya" as Aiden calls her and I'm not sure what I'll do without her, much less when I'll find time for a nanny search amidst the craziness that is now. She's been such a great person for the kids to have in their lives. She is clean, attentive, patient, loving, and personal, plus she runs and it gives us such a fun thing to talk about besides "work" that is kids and life. I know she will be great at her new job and while I hate to lose her, I am very happy for her new opportunity to pursue her career for her family. It is a hard thing as a parent to think about all the items that go into who will care for your children. The fact that I am home with them does make it better, but still, you invite someone into your home, you ask them to care for your kids, help you manage your house, and be a partner with you in raising the two of them and it's just not an easy thing to accomplish. And trust, man, it's huge. It takes so much time for me even to feel comfortable leaving the house with someone new. I didn't leave for two weeks the last time we had someone start. I am not looking forward to that again. But life must go on.

All these things made for one crazy week, one I am glad that's over! But so much more to come in the next few. Just praying for these loose ends to get tied up, for space to be created with my work, and for a little balance. Here's hoping it was just the April Fool's Day curse that hit me this week!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Teagan!

2011-03-28T15:03:00.000-05:00

What a fun day we had celebrating my sweet baby girl. Who knew a year could go even faster when you're doing it the second time around??? It's quite astonishing, to be honest. We planned just a small party for the family and a few friends and it was really a special time for us to celebrate her and spend some time outdoors on a beautiful weekend after too many chilly days.

I'd already ordered her "birthday tutu" outfit. See her sporting it in pride!?! She's such a precious little little. I think even though she didn't know she was wearing something so frilly, she might have just known she was wearing something special. She just strutted around like a little teeny princess that day. It was such a fun thing for me to watch.

She has such a fun and sparkling personality and it's so neat to be able to watch her slowly develop those traits that she will carry with her as she ages and grows with each passing year.

We made the cupcakes (see my handy helper) and food early in the week with Mimi's help and had fun planning all the little fun things, some of which we didn't even get to do during the short time we had that day.

The kids "painted" the fence with paper we'd set out and they had a fun time doing some damage and writing their names and drawing pictures. It was cute. There was lots of tricycle time and fun push toys, bubbles, etc.

And, of course, we had food. We always have food. We did more brunch type things this time since we had her friends over earlier in the morning and I think it was the perfect choice for a dainty little party with our favorite friends and family.

It's so hard to believe how very quickly a year can pass and how much transpires in the life of this little being that just over a year ago had to live on what food passed through me to her. She lived in a tiny bubble inside my tummy and now is a walking, talking, discovering, laughing, silly little girl that will grow up, move out, find a man, get married, and have children of her own, if, of course, that is her choice. :)

The love I feel for these to kiddos is indescribable....and is only a mere glimpse of the love bestowed on us by our gracious Daddy who loans them to us for the short time they have to spend here on earth. What a privilege for me to know Teagan Elyse, to teach her about life, love, joy, pain, sorrow, sin, eternity, Jesus, and all the fun (and awful) stuff in between. As I watched a neighbor deal with a "life lesson" this week with their teenager, it was a rude awakening that we will be there so very soon. Going through and teaching life lessons to our little McNuggets when they are not so little anymore. How very grateful I am to be able to do this with them, as hard as it will be, and how grateful I am for parents who did the same with me as I grew...it's only helped me be a better parent.

We had Teagan's One Year pictures taken and she is a beaming cutie of perfection. Some party pictures, too! :) Learning to seize every moment no matter how beautiful or painful it might be.

March Madness

2011-03-01T10:48:00.000-06:00

...and so it begins. Although in our house it's less about basketball and more about new jobs, birthdays, trips, school functions, and all around craziness. March is the month we'll celebrate Nate's birthday, my dad's birthday, Kari's birthday, Andrew's birthday, my sister-in-law's birthday, and this particular March it's month we'll celebrate my baby girl's first birthday. Whew! After that I'm tired. Add in a party to throw for her, a photo session, a race, and a quick trip and March is furiously passing by before it's even begun.

This week I'm gearing up for Nathan's birthday. We'll celebrate with our little family on Thursday (his actual birthday) and then we have a fun thing planned with some friends and some of his co-workers this weekend. All in all it should be a fun week and fun way to kick off March as we get ready to welcome SPRING and some hopefully warmer temperatures. After the winter we've had, I am more than ready for some sun!!

I did begin a new job yesterday, which is totally a God-thing and something I am beyond grateful for. In this terrible job market and this fluctuating economy, I feel ever-blessed to have found a job at the 11th hour. Yesterday was the day I was supposed to end my previous job and instead of it being the worst day ever, it ended up being the best day ever as I got to start a brand new job. Daunting, yes...as it's in a totally new industry within the Bank, but incredibly exciting as well.

Again, God proves my worry to be invalid and without necessity as He pulls through in awesome wonder and precise timing to provide a need for me and for our family. It makes me wonder why we still doubt his greatness and goodness to us when we have all of these historical times in our lives to reflect upon and remind us of his faithfulness...and yet we do. I guess that's part of being human. And while I spent weeks sick with anxiety and nervousness about what the future would hold, I sit amazed and in wonder of the glorious provision He bestowed on us without even so much as a warning. I literally blinked...and there it was. A job. For me. Just like I asked. Grateful. Blessed. Overwhelmed. Wow.

A-mazing! Can't wait to dive into this month and have a lot of fun!

Valentine Fun

2011-02-16T13:29:00.003-06:00

Mimi and Paa came to town this weekend, which was GREAT fun since Nathan and I had not seen them since Christmas and the kids hadn't seen them since the weekend we were in Phoenix. We all were in need of a little family time. It lets everyone get some "fun" on and gives Nathan and I at least one solid night of great rest - both of which are wins for us! Some good date night fun was had as well!

Friday night Nathan and I went to grab Chinese and enjoyed a nice time catching up after our week. Saturday I went to Spin in the morning then we went all around town running errands for the fam, had lunch at McAlister's and then went to grab some things for Teagan's birthday party next month. That night, NT and I hit up Franklin Mercantile for their winter special before heading over to hang out with some of his colleagues. A nice casual, fun weekend. We all spent Sunday at our usual Panera and said sad goodbyes to Mimi and Paa as they went home to K-ville. Hoping we can one day be closer, for sure! We miss them so much when they are away.

Sunday it was actually beautiful outside so we spent a lot of the day playing outside with the kids and they had a blast...and took GREAT naps! :) Fun!! We deserve a bit of a break from this nasty weather, so the warm sun was nice for a change. Aiden and I made cookies for his class for V-day. He did such a good job and was so great at helping decorate and stir. He's getting so big. This makes me very sad. But he is also so much fun and such a joy. I can't wait to see him grow into a three year old.

Monday was Valentine's Day and I got the kids shirts to wear with their names on them. Both big enough to wear for this year and next year (hopefully!). Aiden had a V-day party at school, so he was excited about that and Teagan had a day full of cookies and candy here at home. Nathan sent me flowers. Mom and Dad sent us cookies. Our house was FULL of treats. NT came home early from work and whipped up a phenomenal dinner for me and we enjoyed that and a movie for a spectacular date night in. I am so very blessed. And even though every day around here is filled with love, it's amazing to realize how much love there is and how very lucky we are to have so much of it given and to give. I am thrilled with my life, my family, my loves, my everything, and am so thankful God allows me to wake up every day and enjoy it.

The Sickies

2011-02-12T13:11:00.003-06:00

This week was the week from down under at our house. After a great week with Aunt Kiki visiting, we were preparing for a weekend in Birmingham until little dude came down with a naaaasty ear infection out of the clear blue sky. Not sure where it came from, but he didn't have hardly any symptoms other than a "leaky" eye for a day. Go figure. I had a feeling my little petrie dishes of kids were in for a fun weekend and week ahead. And boy, was I right! But this time they let the whole family in on the fun!

After taking Aiden to the pediatrician on Thursday and getting the ear diagnosis, Teagan woke up the next day with a leaky eye and runny nose. Awesome! Fun! Yeah! Not. Obviously we were not going anywhere but to sick town for the weekend. By Sunday, Aiden was feeling a little better, but Teagan was in full swing with whatever he'd had and just miserable. Sunday night, Nathan began feeling ill, but the kind of ill that meant he'd be spending all night praying to the porcelain throne in one way or the other. Sure enough, Super Bowl Sunday he spend hugging that seat all night. So far so good with Mom being healthy...until 5 am Monday morning when Teagan got up to eat. I went up to feed her and spent the whole time planning my strategy for how to handle her while I casually made my way to their toilet to take care of business. Luckily I was able to feed her, get her back down to bed, and make it back downstairs with no event. I told Nathan I was sick and he was obviously thrilled. :) Looked like a fun day.

So I was able to get back to sleep for a short time, but when Aiden woke up at 7, just an hour after I'd fallen asleep, I knew I had to make it fast to my own porcelain throne or else our white carpet was going to be in for it. If you've ever been "that" kind of sick, you know how purely awful it is. AWFUL. I had the lucky fortune of being struck with the feeling of having to pass out amidst my affair and did my very best to make it to the floor so I wouldn't get hurt...I tried banging on the wall to NT who was upstairs managing the kids but it was too late. I woke up on the floor in a sweat with a bloody head. Awesome way to start the week. Happy Monday. I spent the next 12 hours sick as a dog and not able to keep down even ice chips. This is the worst kind of sick. The worst. But in 12 hours, almost on the dot, I was able to think about eating some saltines, and they stayed down. PRAISE!

The funny part about being "throw up sick" is that during those 12 - 24 hours, you wonder how and if you will ever eat again. You vow to never eat again. And while I will say that for at least the 24-48 hours following, I was very scared to eat again, it's amazing how quickly you begin to introduce yourself to food and food that actually stays put where it's supposed to. It is the oddest thing to deal with. But I will also say, that a huge kudos to my main man, hubby, and rock on daddy for taking care of me, my two sick kids, our house, and his job all in one day. Having just had the sickies himself, I know he didn't have energy or stamina to do it, so I am so incredibly blessed and thankful he made the strides and picked up my slack. He is amazing and I am so very grateful someone was able to take care of everyone enough for me to not worry.

We spent Tuesday bleaching everything, disinfecting everything, and downright resting and made it out of the woods with the sickies on their way out. By today, we are drying up the noses, and clean inside and out (house AND body!) and hoping for NO MORE sickness the rest of this season and maybe a while longer. We have stayed out of the woods of sickness for so long and I think this was payback in one short week of awful-ness. VERY glad it's over and gone. On to a new start....

(P.S. I will spare you any pictures of how awful we all looked this week. Just take my word for it and be grateful.)

February Frenzy

2011-02-01T16:20:00.002-06:00

It's February 1. Where did January go? Wherever it went, one thing I know....First Birthday preparations are in full swing. Outfits to be ordered. Gifts to be bought. Cakes to make. Fun times to be had. And we are all very excited (and at the same time very sad) that our baby Teagan is turning ONE.

I just booked little miss with her one year session pictures, and that alone is enough to make me sad. But, there is so much fun to be discovered as she learns to speak, walk, run, and engage as she learns what's new with being one. Should be a fun year for us all with a blooming one year old and a soon to be three year old, who knows what fun we'll be having.

This week we got to have "Aunt" Kiki come stay with us for a few days and play. It was so fun to have her here and we had a blast ordering things for the birthday and just catching up. I wish we lived closer, but an so grateful for the ability to see her often since we do live relatively close. Aiden loves it when she comes because she always brings treats. This time it was cookies! And yummy cookies they were.

It was a great first week to the month of love...more fun and love to come...I hear the little one waking up as I speak.

Thirteen.One

2011-01-25T15:09:00.000-06:00

So I did it. It's done. Second half marathon is in the books!

Nathan and I flew out to Arizona on Thursday afternoon to prepare for the Rock n' Roll Series Arizona Half/Full Marathon. Needless to say, the week we left Nashville, school had been out all week due to snow, ice, and other winter weather and we were MORE than excited to see some sun and spend some time outdoors in 70+ degree weather rather than 20 degree weather. A very welcome change indeed. We landed that afternoon after a long flight and it was so warm when we stepped out of the airport. I believe it was 5 pm and it was still 70 degrees. A-mazing, to say the least. We headed to dinner at one of our favorite local joints, Stax, and then did a must stop at Sprinkles for a nice half dozen lovely treats! Man, I love that place. We headed out to the house we were staying at in Troon, which is North North Scottsdale and a great area set up a little higher than the cities below. It makes for some spectacular views!

This is Pinnacle Peak. It's about 2 miles from the house we stayed in.

The Ward's House. Lots of cactus!

The back deck - where we spent all our time!

The sky at dusk. So beautiful!

We were sad to be away from the kids, but knew they were in good hands with Mimi, so we slept great after a long day of traveling and woke up to do an easy four mile run together to Pinnacle Peak and back that Friday. It was awesome not being cold or having to wear 10 layers to go run! What an awesome thing in the middle of winter! Afterwards we headed to lunch and then downtown to the convention center Expo to pick up my race packet, shirt, and information for race day. Wow, what a huge event this is! It was so awesome to walk around and see all the vendors - from food, to shoes, to sunglasses, to beer. So much stuff! It was a great Expo and provided some fun entertainment. We tried on a pair of Newtons and just might throw down on a pair for ourselves when our current shoes need replacing. I think I'm sold after running/walking around in these things for a while.

Took it easy Friday night and tried my best to stay off my feet all day Saturday, but man, my nerves were working overtime in preparation for Sunday's race. I mean, when you know there's going to be at least one Olympian (read: Kara Goucher) in the race you are running, it kind of intimidates the crap out of you even if you know you don't stand a chance of even running with her for a second.

Arrive at Sunday morning...and I felt like I was going to throw up! The good kind of throw up, that is, the kind that means you're so excited you can hardly take a step or breathe. It's the best kind. Nathan and I headed down to the race area and by the grace of God found a purple bracelet on the street that allowed me access to a heated tent with food, stretching areas, and porta potties that were not only clean, but had toilet paper! All the ones on the street for common use were spent and had NO toilet paper. (So, lesson learned for next time is bring my own!) After watching the marathon kick off, we headed over to the half starting area and I got warm while NT took pictures of the other Kara!

The Marathon start line.

Kara Goucher stretching. (I think she was on to Nate spying on her)

My corral. Kara G was in E! I was only one behind.

Starting line.

Before I knew it, the gun was going off. Since we were in corral two, they held us back for a minute or two before letting us start our race to give the Elite runners some space to work out their legs and get their distance. The first half of the race felt great and I was kicking out 7 minute miles pretty consistently, but around mile 8 my knee started to bother me, so I slowed about 15 or 20 seconds to give myself some room to work it out. So my second half was slower than my first half and I didn't finish in 1:30 or under like I'd hoped, but I did beat my other time by nearly 4 minutes, finishing at 1:36. It was a good run and I will definitely seek to improve upon that time and be back next year to see if I can't do it here if not before. I felt really good about the race other than the aches and pains, and was fully recovered in just a few minutes. It was truly awe-inspiring to be in the presence of so many runners. So many that love it, so many that do it well, and so many that just have fun. It was a fun, fun time. My little cheerleader, Nathan waited for me and gave me lots of kudos afterwards despite my disappointment. There is always room to improve! So the rest of that day we just hung around Scottsdale, ate some dinner, sat by the pool, and then I got a fabulous 90 minute massage to work out all my kinks. It was a fun and full day filled with amazing memories.

We headed to The Fairmont where we stayed for our last night and enjoyed a nice evening and day at the resort before heading to the airport to see our kids (and embrace the cold weather) back in Nashville. I wasn't looking forward to the weather, but I was so excited to see my babies.

It was a super fun long weekend and one I hope to re-live again sooner than one year from now. After returning from the race and running again, it feels strangely peculiar to be running without something to train for...without a goal. So where that leaves me I'm not quite sure, but I'm eyeing some races in the near future, I just need to figure out what distance I want to do now that my legs are tired. Give me a week and maybe I'll say I'm ready for another half. Maybe not, but just maybe. What I do know it that it won't be nearly as fun as running in 70 degree weather in January! That beats it all! :)

New Year New What?

2011-01-06T15:25:00.002-06:00

Well the new year has come and gone and taken with it any hope of warm days here in Tennessee. That said, it's been an attitude adjustment to determine to be happy despite the gloomy, snowy, icy weather that has become our "normal" here in Nashville. It's a normal we don't like but one we have to accept for a time, or so it would appear. So our welcome to the new year has been plagued with ice and snow and temperatures below freezing. Not ideal for a girl (me) who is training for a half marathon in a climate that promises to be around 70 degrees on race day. If you don't believe me, too bad, but Phoenix is the hope of my new year! :) It's 16 days away and my nerves are already on edge as I line up mentally in my head each day for my training runs in bitter cold and wind. Hopefully the finish line will be worth the pain.

The other fun way to start out the new year was with work. (And by fun I mean awful.) After a low-key last few weeks of 2010 with lots of PTO, baking, eating, and family time, heading back to work wasn't on my fun list anyway, but January 3 all that was confirmed. I got a lovely phone call from my manager who let me know my employment was out of compliance with a policy and somehow I had been overlooked in the program process. I am 6 months in to an 18-month role. Anyway, it's too much to go into here, but basically I show up at work on day one of 2011 only to find out I'm days away from being job-less, when I thought I was months away. Eleven months to be exact. Not the way I was looking forward to starting the new year.

So all these "bad" things can leave one feeling pretty hopeless and full of self-doubt and other emotions, but I've had to rely solely on my Father to pick me up, change my attitude, and remind me of all the times in my past when He has come to my rescue. And believe me, it's been a lot! Each and every time He came, not with warning, but with provision. Not in my timing, but in His. So my hope, my rest, must come from the history WE have together, just me and Him. I'm confident He will supply all my needs and fulfill all my hopes and dreams in the meantime. It's just what that looks like that's scary. And by scary I mean exciting. :) So, here's to a frightful and eye-opening year. My prayer is all of you have HOPE in more than just what we see every day but also what we don't as it's hope that gets us through and hope that makes us stronger. "Be strong and take heart, all you HOPE in the Lord." (Ps. 31:24)

Christmas 2011

2010-12-27T15:25:00.019-06:00

This year we introduced Aiden to the joy and fun that is "Elf on the Shelf" - he was beyond thrilled to have something new to keep him entertained and I'm sure even more thrilled that someone else (besides mom, dad, Taylor, and Teagan) were keeping their eyes on him to make sure he was being a "sweet boy." We, well, he actually, named him Dax. Whether or not he'll remember this for twelve months and name him the same thing again next year remains to be seen. But the funny part of this is he also dubbed the movie ELF, DAX, not ELF. So far, that is still sticking.

It was exciting to watch the anticipation of Christmas bloom over the course of the week building up to Saturday. We had a great time wrapping presents, baking, playing, and gearing up for the weekend visit with my family. Our newest family tradition, pajamas for the family, was enhanced this year by monograms on each with our kid-given names (Daddy, Mommy, Mimi, Paaa, Uncle B, etc.). So that was a fun treat. We opened those on Christmas Eve so we could all be in matching like fashion for the big day. And the big day was fun. Opening presents with kids is the best....it lasted almost the whole day! To see bright eyes, excitement, wonder, curiosity, and so much joy exude from their little bodies is so much fun to watch. The very best part of Christmas for sure. We had a great brunch - cinnamon rolls, egg casserole, fruit, yogurt, and homemade granola parfaits, and of course, LOTS of coffee. :)

All in all this was my most favorite Christmas yet. Not because of what I got, which may or may not have included the bomb Kate Spade bag from my hubs!!!!, but because of what we were able to see from our parent's eye view. What a truly amazing gift it is. I love my kids and can't wait for them to explore the true meaning of Christmas each and every year.

H-town Down

2010-12-22T14:59:00.000-06:00

Well, Poage, actually, but Down sounded better. After a whirlwind of a November, we had another few busy weeks ahead culminating in a trip to Texas for my cousin's wedding, followed by Christmas. We haven't flown with both kids yet and were nervous about the outcome given all the "possibilities" for failure when it comes to the three A's: airports, airplanes, altitude. Needless to say, no one needed to give us any convincing it would be a challenge, so we prepared ourselves accordingly. To be honest, the worst part (being on the other side) is the packing...I mean kids need a lot of things and the things they MIGHT need are what really get you when you're packing for a trip away. After the bags were packed, I think I was wiped enough. Regardless, we actually made it to the airport way on time, which is a huge feat when Nathan's driving. We made it through security...baby food, too! We boarded in early fashion (one great perk of traveling with kids)...and headed up and away for our Texas adventure. And the kids did amazing. Aiden didn't fuss once, but was thoroughly entertained by the games and movies on the iPad...and the people he met, of course. And Teagan did superb, only making a slight peep when her ears began to pop. Amazing kids, my two. I have to say I was a proud mom. Proud to not be "that family" on the plane with "those kids" making everyone else sigh and hate the day they were born. Plus, plus!

After barely surviving Houston traffic to get to our hotel, we bedded the kids for their naps and got ready for the rehearsal dinner that night. It was great catching up with family and we had some amazing food and excellent cake of Oscar, a huge dog my cousin Carter has (but will not have after he gets married!).

The next day was December 18 - not only the day Carter was getting married, but the day my baby girl turned 9 months old. Where the time went I still don't know, but gone, gone it is. No longer are her baby hands so tiny it's hard to believe they're real. No longer is her hair barely there. No longer does she need me at every breath. While it is such a gift to watch them grow up, it is such a torture to watch it as well. How little they are and how big they become. And the bigger they are, the more of our hearts they take with them. Oh, I dread the day she gets married. And the same for Aiden, too. How I hope I have the heart to handle it. Even being at Carter's wedding I found myself crying at every interval. I can only imagine what that will be like when it is my own flesh and blood I am giving away to do this life thing with someone else. I wait in joyous anticipation, but also anxious abandon.

My dad and I went running in Memorial Park. It was a great day for it - sunny, mild, no humidity, and people bustling about the park in every fashion imaginable. It was fun and a great day. Then off to the wedding. It was a quick ceremony and light reception. The kids were the hit of the party!

Teagan my little princess!

Me with my precious grandparents.

My blue-lipped stud (guess who raided the candy!)

We enjoyed the "candy bar" and then headed off to put the wiped kiddos in bed. Nathan and I went and walked around the Galleria for a while and had a fun time people watching and just spending some quality time together in another city. It's always fun.

On the way home!

After a quick breakfast with everyone on Sunday, we spent the rest of the day relaxing, eating yummy Mexican and stuffing our faces with Sprinkles cupcakes before we packed up to do the flight thing all over again on Monday.

Finally back in TN, it's now time to get unpacked (my LEAST favorite part of any trip!) and get ready for Christmas in a few days! Can't wait to see my kids faces.

Tired boy chillin with Paaa.

All Hallow's Eve

2010-11-01T14:18:00.003-05:00

Halloween is upon us already...which means two things: lots of candy and November is almost here. Both of which are equally exciting! The weekend started off fun...I decided to do a last minute 5k race Saturday morning just for the heck of it. Mom and Dad were heading in from Knoxville for the weekend so they met us there and cheered me on while they helped Daddy with the kids. Even though I managed to hit my same PR that I feel I hit every time, it was a fun time and great to have the support. Second in my age group isn't half bad for not running much in the past few weeks. We ventured off to lunch at Panera and a trip to Trader Joe's (which we all love) before heading home for the kiddos naps! The afternoon was filled with relaxing and playing outside and a quick trip to the Pearl Street Pumpkin Path in our neighborhood - games, activities, playgrounds, and a pumpkin carving contest. It was fun! We all headed off to an early dinner at Pueblo Real, our standard favorite spot. Nate and I got to stay a little late and enjoy a date night while Mimi and Pops took the kids to bed! So nice! We always hate to see them go, and Sunday morning came too early.

Sunday is an odd day for Halloween, I'll say that. Not that there is a great day for it anytime, it's just odd to have it on Sunday before everyone heads back to school. We dressed the kids up in their costumes and donned some fun play clothes to trick or treat with them before heading to our party later that evening. Aiden was Bamm Bamm and Teagan was Pebbles. They looked so cute. Nate dressed in a soccer outfit and I squeezed into my old cheerleading outfit from high school. Memories in the making for sure! After getting them to bed we headed off to our party all the way across the street, this time as the Beckhams. It was such a great time and we had fun playing, dancing, eating, and just enjoying the merriment of great neighbors. All in all a very memorable weekend and a fun time making memories with family and friends to last a lifetime.

Farm Time Fun!

2010-10-22T14:10:00.005-05:00

It's hard to believe this was our third time to visit Gentry's Farm as a family. Aiden was only 3 months old on our first visit and it seems like just yesterday we were making him pose with us and the pumpkins in the patch. Time does fly and bring with it multitudes of change, all for which I am grateful. The awesome thing about Aiden's MDO program is it is one of two "schools" in the area that gets to use the farm for a solo visit during the October season, allowing for lots of time to enjoy the activities without fighting the crowds there during the days the farm is open to the public. It makes for a much nicer time for all. Plus, it's cute to see them acknowledging their friends and teachers in a non-school environment. Aiden was in heaven with all the pumpkins and dirt. His cup of tea for sure. Teagan wasn't quite sure what to think, but they both did amazing for me as a solo mom running this trip!

We rode the tractor hay ride and saw lots of cows, even one that was one day old! There was a rainbow in the sky right as we rode, which was fun for Aiden to pick out. He played in the corn maze and troughs of grain with all the toys. We adventured through the teepees and farm houses. Aiden loved the big wooden play set they had with the "FAST" slide and all the animals. He had a nice conversation with the roosters and goats. My two precious loves were the hit amongst all the teachers...which is to be expected. They are pretty awesome if you ask me!

What a fun time and what fun it will be next year when Teagan is 18 months and Aiden is 3! Wow. As much as I can't wait, I certainly can. Time flies too quickly these days.

Newlywed Weekend

2010-10-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

We had the joy and pleasure of having a few days (three and a half, to be exact) without the kids. Our original plan was to take one last beach trip before the fall becomes winter, but we took a long look at our growing list of "todo's" around the house and decided it would be to our best advantage to knock some things off that list instead. While it might not seem all that glamorous, it was a lot more fun than either of us anticipated it would be. We took time to get things done...like hang 30 pictures up our stairwell, which may seem like an easy task, but let me be the first to tell you it's not. And we took time to do nothing but sit on the porch and talk. Amidst the flurry of getting things crossed off the list and taking time to just "be" we were able to enjoy so much of each other which is hard to do when you have kids no matter how old they are. Life gets less and less about you and more and more about the family and we love every minute of that, but also love our time together. I feel so blessed to have parents that not only support our initiative to do this, but encourage us to do it...as often as we can and more. Whether they can help watch the kids or not, they understand our need for these times. This time we were lucky enough to be able to have the kids spend time with Mimi and Pa and no matter how many times they do this we never get tired of hearing how much fun they had with them or how they wished they could go back instead of coming home. What a blessing it is to have parents that LOVE on your kids so much so that they don't want to come home! I feel loved so much more as a daughter to see the sacrifice they go through to stay up all night with them, play endlessly all day with them, and give love unconditionally. It is truly an awesome example and one I am grateful to see firsthand.

I'll post some pictures of some of our "list" we accomplished as well as some of the weekend the kiddos enjoyed with the grandparents. I so enjoyed my time as a newlywed with my hot hubby. We had three great date nights, hung out with friends, saw some live music, went on a few runs, and got caught up on life as well as talked about our next steps as a family. We hung our Halloween decor complete with 820 orange lights on our columns, corn stalks, new ribbon and bows, etc. We planted flowers and mulched. We hung the pictures up the stairwell. We hung pictures in Teagan's room. We started cleaning out our overflowing garage apartment. We set up my new desk. We picked out pictures of Teagan to order. And best of all, we did all of that together. I love my man and am grateful we have such a deep connection, can talk about anything, and one that encourages me to be a better wife, mother, and friend every single day. Pictures to come of all our fun...thanks, babe, for a fantastic few days and thanks, Mom and Dad for a little break in the action. Now I get to jump into a week without a husband and figure that out! Not so exciting!

I said it last time and here I am again...

2010-09-28T15:57:00.000-05:00

Saying it's been far too long since I've blogged, that is. And I guess there is simply no excuse this time. Beyond having two kids under two, a full time job, a husband that works too many hours, and life to keep up with during the down time. It makes me wonder what it was I did with my time off before kids. Have I said that before? Yes, probably. Well, saying it again for reinforcement of how very true it is.

Catching up on things:
Mom and Dad came to visit for Labor Day and that was super fun. We got some amazing pics and had a great time together, grilling out, eating out, working out, and just spending time together. We hadn't seen them since mid-August, so it felt like forever even though it'd only been a month or so. Good times.

This is what Aiden and I look like most nights before bed, but hardly anyone ever gets to see it. Glad I have this shot.

Mom and I matched that day...and Aiden was along for the ride.

Checking out the butterflies in our yard.

Aiden is showing Bob "the Situation"!!!

Loving time with Mimi!

I love this picture of my sweet girlie!

Aiden is such a sweet brother to Teagan.

Daddy loves his Girl!

Aiden started "school" the first the first week of September and while it was rough, his adjustment has been much smoother than last year, which is utter refreshment. He only stays until lunchtime because they only nap an hour at school and if I bring him home to nap, my little sleeper will rest for 2 - 4 hours. I can't deny a growing boy that nap time when I, in fact, am completely jealous that he gets one. This naptime is indeed one way I am living vicariously through my kids. I hope it is the least offensive of all my attempts both now and in the future.

Luckily we had this shag cut a few days later...yikes!

My sweet boy.

Teagan turned 6 months in the middle of the month and is swimming right along in her half year of life. She is growing (slowly, but growing) and is a whopping 12 pounds. Whoop! My kids love to hang out on that 3rd percentile curve for most of their first year, making doctor visits incredibly "fun" as I get investigated as a parent. Ha! But she's now eating her share of "real" food and has dived right into that...likes almost everything with the exception of peas. But I think she'll come around. Maybe not. Either way, her blue eyes are stunners and she enamors just about everyone who meets her, much like her brother. She's such a happy and fun little one. Barely in 6 month clothes, and size 2 diapers still swim on her, but I'm just fine with that.

Nathan's work schedule as I alluded to earlier has been quite insane. Lots of late nights at the office, which are never fun for either one of us as sometimes a week can go by hardly seeing each other - and we live in the same house! Hopefully a promised job change (just around the corner) will provide some more time to work from home and less restrictions when he does. Thankful, though, that we both have jobs in this crazy time.

And me? Well, I am just doing dandy. It's stressful most days, working all day and then trying to manage the "witching hour" with my two kiddos, but I couldn't ask for better kids or better opportunity. I feel incredibly blessed. The adjustment to having two under two has come with it's fair share of learning curve to it and I feel there is much left to learn, but I am excited about that. I have been suffering from some pretty severe headaches for some time now and am set to see a Neurologist next week, about which I am nervous, but hopeful. They have prevented me from being as active as I like to be, and on some days even living normally for far too long now and I hope to have some answers very soon.

Whew. That's the basic update. Sorry to be so brief on each of the topics, but I felt better about that than putting it off any longer. I'm working on being more consistent. I hope it happens this time!

Way too long...

2010-08-11T22:01:00.000-05:00

I realize the time has probably passed to the extent where all my updates would be pointless. Regardless, I am going to try and catch myself up even if it doesn't get read. It's been far too long since I've written and now so much has happened, I need to document it...if for nothing else that I don't lose my mind and not capture the little things. That said, I'll back-post a few items from our summer after this post. Or before...however you say it.

My update for this week is short and sweet. We have a new nanny...finally. For the skinny on the deal with that, you'll have to go back and read about 4th of July...once I post it, of course. :) That said, Taylor started with us this week and has so far been super. If nothing else, she helps me tremendously in that she cares for my kids. And they love her. Two things which matter immensely. After rounds and rounds of interviews, we were really excited to have Taylor join our family. Aiden has shown off his masterful skills with Bieber concerts and basketball. They're learning all kinds of things and Teagan warmed right up to her. Plus, she loves to be clean! Praise the Lord!! :) So...mission accomplished.

Aiden is very much two, well as of this week, he's now 25 months. But for his age, he is talking a mile a minute, and learning something new that suprises us daily. He's so much fun. He loves to sing, dance, play basketball, color, swim, and just be a boy outside exploring. He can count to 20 with only a few skips or misses. ;) He loves Bieber. Justin Bieber. If you don't know him, within a few minutes of hanging out with Aiden, you'll swear you're looking at a mini-Biebs. We have been doing music class and he LOVES that...and it's been a blast to see his personality really explode. I can't wait for him to experience this year. So fun.

Teagan is growing like a weed. She will be five months next week...what?! I can't believe how fast it goes. Last year at this time, I was sitting here probably typing, and I had a little 8 week old bean in my belly. Now she's here and in living color. She's coming right into her own with a sparkling personality. In the last week or two, she's begun talking like crazy. Not talking like Aiden, of course, but baby talking - coos and squeals and fun noises babies make to let you know they're figuring out there's talking going on! We started rice after her 4 month check up and have already started eating bananas and sweet potatoes. The verdict on both is a YES! My great little eater.

Nathan is crazy busy with work. I am crazy busy with work. The best part is that we have help now, so we can not feel so worn down by the end of the day. That is a beautiful thing. I Love Love Love my kiddos, but trying to work a 50+ hour a week job, take care of them (which is 1st in my book even with a crazy work schedule), manage the house, be an amazing wife, and actually get anything done...well, it's a challenge to say the least. I am grateful for a hubby that makes every effort to tell me he knows how hard it is and helped me every step of the way. Always has and hopefully always will. Even with help!

So there's the latest from the homefront. Know it's broad, but for those of you who are far away and don't see us so often, hopefully it'll at least give you a short update till I can get back on my blogging feet. Look for some posts in the next few days to update you on our summer! It was a fun one for sure!

Nathan and I at Aiden's birthday party last month

My sweet baby girl. Bright blue eyes.

Aiden loves holding his baby sister! All the time.

The FAM!

Mr. "I'm Two!"

I just love his face on this...he LOVES his baby sister.

Long time coming

2010-07-12T14:21:00.000-05:00

I realize this note is far overdue...but my blog is getting spammed. My postings keep getting deleted and a spammer keeps commenting on my posts. In fact, this posting title I'm writing under now I wrote over three weeks ago and was completely deleted somehow over the past week and now I'm not sure if I'm going to have to change my blog site altogether. Ugh! All that to say I'm sorry for the lack of communication and pictures. I'm frustrated as with the lack of time I already have I don't have time to figure out who cares enough to spam my blog. Boo for that. Trying to update and fix shortly.

Update so far...

2010-05-20T12:55:00.002-05:00

My boys have been sick the past few days. Aiden with a double ear infection and nasty cough, and Nathan with a cough and severe congestion. No fun for anyone when the boys are sick. They are my fun, smiling guys. Luckily they are on the up and up. Not so luckily, my baby girl seems to have contracted the cough just as they are getting rid of it. It's the saddest little cough you've ever heard. But thankfully she's resting it off and I can only hope the "rest when you're not feeling great" theme continues as she gets older. Aiden never really got that concept down very well...so he goes at a mere 99% when he's not feeling great instead of the usual 110%. Makes for some long days, I will say that much!

May is flying by and I can hardly believe it's nearly half over. Hmmm..what has happened?
We survived the FLOOD of 2010. It was drama. Mom was stranded here with us. It rained for 48 hours straight. Nashville got rocked. Luckily, we only suffered slight damage. Whew, glad that's over.
Taylor and Rachel got married. Stinky for us, we missed the wedding because of the sillly flood - we were literally land locked in our neighborhood and couldn't get out. It was the biggest bummer of the season. I love weddings. We looked so cute all dressed up. I hated it for Nathan, it really tore him up. At least we were able to go to the Rehearsal Dinner and celebrate with everyone. That was really special.

Work started back up. Whew. I am tired thinking about it. Grateful to have a job. Not so grateful it wears me out and I miss my kids, but at least I'm home with them all day.

Aiden is two months away from TWO YEARS OLD. Not sure how that milestone happened, but here we are, two months away. Woooow (as he would say). He is talking up a storm. Gains new words every day. Now he puts them together and is starting to make sentences. It's amazing. He knows all his colors and some numbers, though his favorite number is two. Everything is two. Everything. Even one. One is two. The kid is hilarious. Some other favorites are: daddy, mommy, baby, "ba-cici" (our neighbors across the street), nana (equals both panera and banana), ball, truck, tractor, mower, up - down, mimi, pa, "B" (equals bed and Bud - my brother), airplane, and all his colors...he is pure and uninhibited joy and brings life to my aging bones. Love the mess out of him. That will never stop, but only get better with time.

Mother's Day (double the fun)

2010-05-17T12:50:00.016-05:00

Mother's Day came and went. Mom and Dad (and Bud) came to visit and celebrate. We had pie. I love pie. I got some really special gifts - from the heart. My brother drew me this phenomenal piece of hand-drawn art. It's a picture of my baby girl with mine and Nathan's hands draped on her back. Amazing. I can't wait to get it framed and post pictures of it. One of the truly remarkable things about this day was that picture. Something I will cherish forever. Mom gave me a necklace with both of my kids' names and I love that I can show it to everyone I meet. The kids (and Daddy) got me some jewelry and a pair of shorts. I have great kids. I have a great husband. I have a great mom (and dad). I am so blessed and this year it's two times over! Hard to believe...but oh so joyous.

Pictures of our days are here.

Passing Time

2010-05-12T14:03:00.000-05:00

I realize it's been a while since I've been able to sit down at the computer for anything other than work the past two weeks and regret the fact I haven't been able to write. So many things happen in my days that I make every effort to remember, jot down, or just mentally capture for later reminiscing. Why does time sometimes go so fast when we want it to go slow and why does it seem to go slow in the moments we want it to go fast? Sigh. These are the times I wish I could put life on pause for certain moments, instances, really, so I could memorialize them and never forget the joy (or pain) realized in that second. Alas, I cannot, and am stuck trying to remember enough so when I finally have a breath to sit and write it down I hope I haven't forgotten it all.

Teagan is One Month Old

2010-04-27T14:23:00.000-05:00

So the time has come and one month has passed. While I knew it would get here, I just never realize how fast it's going to approach. And it's already come and gone like a blink. My how time flies...even more so when you have two. The fun part about this week was the day Teagan turned 4 weeks, Aiden was 21 months, so it was a special milestone of sorts for both my kiddos. Hard to believe in a few more weeks, my "baby Aiden" will already be two! That is scary.

The past month has had it's fair share of ups and downs, but for the most part has been so fun. We've taken road trips, seen family, had friends over, and explored the great wide world or running errands with our two babies. I have truly enjoyed being at home with them and watching Aiden coo over his baby sister, giving her kiss after kiss all day long. It is so special for me to be able to watch as a Mom, but also as just an observer...to see his sweet spirit and joy over life. How I pray that will never go away.

Baby Teagan is doing great and growing like a champ. We still have some minor "BM" issues, but we're working through those and helping little Miss get her groove on with the poo. She had grown to 6 lbs. 10 oz. at her second doctor's visit, so she's slowly creeping out of her preemie clothes, which is great news.

No one can truly ever prepare you for being a parent of two little ones. While it's plenty scary in theory (which I experienced a lot while pregnant!), reality is a whole different animal. Not sure if it's sleep deprivation or sheer parental stress, but it's both the most work and the most joy one can experience simultaneously...of this I am quite convinced. It is a tiring adventure of wills and strength, but one I am grateful to be living. Amidst all of this new stuff in our world, we have had some earth shattering news break through our sunshine of happiness and bring in some potentially gloomy clouds. However grim it may seem, we are hoping with eternal optimism that God's provision will continue and we will find hope in the face of doubt.

If there is one thing I am sure, it is that I am so in love...with my Aiden, with my Teagan, with my Nathan, and with my God more now than I ever have been before. His amazing love and compassion is evident more and more every day in the faces and in the lives of these people he has put with me along side to be my family for life. I am blessed more than words.

My Week with Training Wheels

2010-04-10T10:27:00.056-05:00

So here it is...after two weeks of newborn bliss, filled with date nights(which most people don't get sometimes even the whole first year their baby is alive!) and six extra sets of hands, which I am so grateful for, my parents have left to go back home, Nathan is set to return to work after having two weeks off, and I am faced with the prospect of managing this new life alone. Did I already say it would be six - yes, SIX, hands short of what I've had the past two weeks. That means the only hands are my two seemingly incapable hands for an entire week. Aiden doesn't have school this week due to Spring Break, so that means five full days of two tots under two and it's up to me to figure out what to do with them. This prospect is frighteningly scary and makes me utterly sick to my stomach.

So, my brilliant hubby thought of an amazing plan. Since I'm not working, he suggested I just go and spend the week at my parents' house and have at least part time help (since they get off work much earlier than he does and would be available in the morning, too). It would allow him to not have to feel pressured to come home early, and would give me a week in training...it was a training wheels kind of week. Although I was unsure about how it would all work out, I headed out first thing Monday morning with my little chicka in tow to see what this week would hold.

While there were moments of craziness, the week went altogether quite smoothly considering the circumstances. We got to go to the park at least three days and I was able to run - even some on my own! We had some great dinners at Panera with good conversation and lots of laughs. I managed to handle even some terribly stressful situations - teagan was crying, aiden set off the carbon monoxide detector, which proceeded to scream loudly at all of us and didn't stop when unplugged, causing Aiden to cry...so here I am with two kids crying, alarm going off, on the phone with my mom trying to get a breath to figure out how to get it all to stop...and it was in that moment I wondered how many moments would be just like this in the months and years to come. And, of course, I just had to laugh and think about how this would look to me not only five days from now, but five years from now...and how far I would have come in those five years. (Or at least I hope so!)

The family brainstormed about a way to get Nathan to their house and drive back with me so I didn't have to ride home with both kiddos. We managed to find a way (thanks, Bud!) and made it back home safe and sound.

All in all, the week was successful and showed me that I have what it takes (or at least think I do!) to manage this life with two kids. It's such a different world from doing work and one kid, it's such a different world than just having one, but it's a world I am so incredibly grateful for and one I look forward to watching unfold with anxious anticipation. How will the next few months be with the two kids? How close will they be as they grow up? How will Aiden protect his baby sister as she grows up? It will be such an interesting (and fun) journey to watch unfold. Though I am scared out of my mind about how it's going to work (I'm still not sure I can do it...), I am so excited.

Easter Fun

2010-03-30T10:26:00.026-05:00

This Easter, we had one more miracle to celebrate with our family...Baby Teagan. It was very special having her arrive just in time for this special day. My parents came to town for the week prior to Easter for some much needed extra hands at our house. Balancing the challenges of a newly formed family of four were proving challenging, so the extra help was awesome. The weekend prior to Easter, our neighborhood held an Easter Egg Hunt in the Great Lawn. We took Aiden last year (he was 9 months old!!) and while he did look at eggs, he didn't really "get it" last year. This year was a whole other story. He was ALL OVER the eggs, and his pace picked up even more when he realized there was chocolate in some of the eggs! The boy LOVES chocolate!! He did such a great job collecting eggs in his basket and eating the candy afterwards. Such a fun thing to watch as we all live vicariously through his enthusiasm and zest for life.

While we were outside, we also had some pictures taken of Teagan in hopes of capturing a picture for her birth announcement. It was a very sweet time and Aiden ran the castle while we took some pictures. Then Nate was off to storm a castle of his own by caulking and cleaning gutters with a ginormous 28-foot ladder that nearly manhandled him a few times. Thank goodness RD was there to step in and help him move it a few times. That thing made me nervous. And for someone afraid of heights, I was shocked to see him take more than two steps on the ladder. Anyway, he got the job done and the house was spic and span.

We did all kinds of fun things the week they were here, and were sad to see them go, especially since they were taking our little man with them for a couple days. Always sad to see him go, though we know how much more rest we'll get when he's gone! He celebrated Easter Sunday in style with my parents and had a grand time with Mimi and Pah while we celebrated with Teagan in all her newborn glory. Such a great time to be thankful for all we are blessed with and recognize the one who gave us all we have through such an incredible sacrifice. We are living proof of a living God.

Welcome Teagan Elyse Tabler!

2010-03-24T20:30:00.004-05:00

Early last Thursday morning, March 18, Nathan and I headed to Baptist Hospital in Nashville (along with my photographer Dad) to welcome our new baby girl. Our induction was scheduled at 7:15 a.m., so after a great morning full of fun questions and a Pitocin drip to bring on contractions, my water broke about 9 a.m. and we were off and running to meeting our newest family member. Labor went really smoothly, all things condsidered...it is "labor" after all. My amazing friend Kari arrived around 10 a.m. to keep me company and alleviate the pain from my mind. And that she did...her presence made the pain, and the mood better all around. It was nice for me to have someone there to talk gossip mags and discuss Hollywood drama with during contractions and nice for Nathan to not have to be the only one losing circulation to his hands as I squeezed! After Noon, I finally decided to get the epidural and despite it not working after the first dose, things started moving really quickly and baby girl was moving fast to make her debut. We were able to get it resolved just in time and within the hour, it was time to push, so everyone (except Nate) was rushed out about 1:30 p.m. and after two good pushes/contractions, we welcomed our sweet girl.

Teagan Elyse Tabler was born at 1:40 p.m. She weighed in at 5 pounds, 2 ounces, and is 18 inches long (a stretch for sure, but a foot and a half exactly!).

As most of you know, we took a L-O-N-G time to decide on her name and while we have gotten question after question about whether or not it is a family name, alas, it is not. And while it would be WAY easier to say it is...reality is it's not...So...I feel the need to let people know what it does mean and how we happened upon it. (Thanks, Megs for the reminder to do this!) Most of you know both Nathan and I have Irish in our background - you can see the history of my maiden name here if you're really bored. We named Aiden (of Irish descent meaning "little fire") what we did mostly because of it's meaning and descent. We thought it would be appropriate to do the same for our daughter. While we initially sought names beginning with "A" to keep the consonance going with our kiddos, we just didn't like many of them and couldn't settle on an A-name. We happened across Teagan on one of our searches, and it just stuck with us. It carried into the final five, and finally made it to the final two...and well, we know it's her name, so there it is. Elyse was originally going to be Ellis, a name we liked from the beginning since it's Greek/Hebew and means "Jehovah is God" which we pray she learns at an early age. To make it more feminine, we just bumped it out to Elyse. And that's the story. :)

Teagan means "beautiful, attractive," but also means "wise little poet." Most of you know I like to write (whether I'm good at it or not is questionable, but I do enjoy it), and both of us pray she is beautiful, not only inside but out.
Elyse means "God is my vow (oath)." And like Ellis, it is of Greek/Hebrew descent. We pray she comes to know this early and hold this as truth as she grows into a young woman.

The family (even Aiden) were all in the room within minutes of her arrival. They tell me I made it look easy...but maybe it was just a teeny baby ready to get into this great big world! It was easier than Aiden, given that 1) her head was smaller and 2) she was a full pound smaller! The entire thing is most certainly a miracle from beginning to end...and we are amazed to be just small vessels in the process.

We headed home on Saturday afternoon and introduced Teagan to her new home, new room, new bed, and new life. My parents were still in town, and we took our celebratory trip to Pueblo Real to introduce her to our Mexican restaurant family, who all fell in love with her. Mom and Dad left Sunday afternoon and Nate and I are on our own this week. Aiden is enjoying being a big brother and has already named her "TT" since he can't quite get the full name together. He loves counting her fingers and toes, teaching her where her nose is, what sound her ears make, and pointing out that big long tongue. He is certainly very sweet with her and I am excited to see how he will grow into his role.

While the worst is certainly not over, we are home and ready to see what this new phase of life will bring us. A lot of changes, to be sure, but a lot of love and beauty with which to fill it. We are so very blessed.

I've attached an album with a "high level" view of the birth of our second little miracle. Enjoy...more to come!

http://picasaweb.google.com/randydown/31810TeaganElyseTablerBorn?authkey=Gv1sRgCNaUzq-i7eGRMw&feat=email#

Love you all...your prayers and support are so very much appreciated. Can't wait to introduce her.

Can it be here already?

2010-03-11T15:38:00.000-06:00

So, I'm posting twice in one day, or at least trying to, just because I know it's been a few days since I wrote and wanted to update on BGT and our emotions as we lead up to her arrival. I think I've done a fair job of keeping everyone in the loop, as difficult as it has been for me to do so. I don't do a very good job at reaching out to people when I need help and instead just kind of take the approach that everyone else has enough stuff of their own to deal with, they don't need to add mine, too. Not the right approach, I know, but I finally did take some steps to deal with that and well, it turned out much better than I expected and it has been amazing to see God work in the lives of people around me to minister to me with His words, and their experience. Both of which I needed.

The long and short of it is that all of this new stuff coming my way really scares the mess out of me and I fear I won't really have what it takes to do it. In a nutshell, that's it. Seems really lame when I see mothers of four who have showered and are dropping their kids off at 9 am - if they can do it, I can do two, right?! Yes. I can. It's just that my perfectionist, Type A, control freak, Monica personality comes out when I start to think about the actuality/reality of it all coming true and what it will be like and will I be able to handle it, and what will happen to Aiden, and will I shower again, and Nathan won't spend the same amount of time with her that he has had with Aiden and how will that impact her as she gets older and needs a Dad, and ... well, you get the point. And endless stream of worry...in a nutshell.

BUT...

I am coping. I am dealing. And with the help and strength of some amazing sisters around me (and an awesome husband who supports me more than I could ever imagine possible with all he already has going on), I have been able to see light instead of dark at the end of this road. And a light I am VERY excited to meet! :)

All of that to say...the past few weeks have been rough becucase of the setbacks we've had with our doctor visits and the "not great but not bad" news we seeem to get each week. Seems like she's just kind of hanging on for us until we can get her out safely. Two weeks ago, I had already begun to lose weight, which typically happens the week of delivery (or did with Aiden), so my doctor wasn't thrilled about that. After another ultrasound, we found she isn't getting quite as much blood flow as we'd like her to be getting, and with the weight loss, the concern exists that she isn't growing enough inside and may need to come out to do her thing. So, we found ourselves trying to make it to week 37. We have, which is awesome, but this week's visit wasn't much better. After being told to eat everything in sight, I was visited by a nice fun round of the stomach bug, which obviously didn't help matters any. No weight gain this week. Boo. Then last night, I spent three hours in triage on the monitor, due to low fetal movement, but after all that, found she is still doing okay. Again, not great, but not bad, so just okay. The great news is that she weighed in at 5.5 this week (give or take 13 ounces!), which is in the 16th percentile, so as long as we're near that for her arrival, we'll likely stay out of the NICU and get to go home as usual.

I will go back to the doctor on Friday for another ultrasound since the one on Monday was not so positive and will make a determination then about whether we will deliver her next week or the week after. If not next week, we'll be welcoming our little muffin on Monday, March 22. Either way, we want it to be the best for her. Praying for all to be well on all fronts as the day approaches. Hope you all will continue to do the same. Not only for her, but for all of us...specifically:
For me - for an easy labor (no c-section, please!) like last time, lots of support as we come home, and the time to make Aiden and Nathan feel just as much of a priority in my life as we expand our family
For Aiden - as he adjusts to a new person intruding on his world, and that we would be sure to make him feel special and loved as he continues to blossom and explore his amazing and super social personality
For Nathan - as he gears up to be a daddy of 2 little ones and the not so fun reality that he'll have to leave them again after his paternity leave is over.

Thanks in advance and hope to have more info very soon! Big hugs from TN.

Whew! I'm tired

2010-03-11T15:14:00.002-06:00

And she's not even here yet. Not sure what the reality of her arrival will hold, but March (well, let's just go ahead and call it ALL of 2010) has been insane. After having friends and family visit a few weeks ago for our baby shower, we spent the weeks following getting Aiden hooked up with a new big boy bed, setting up BGT's nursery, setting up BGT's temporary station (in our closet!), and trying to tie up any loose ends...which there seem to be lots of! So a lot of adjustment with Nathan being gone and back to work and me figuring out what I'm going to do for work, and getting ready for this new little baby that's going to rock our world in a few days. Exciting, but EXHAUSTING!

Needless to say, most of you have been up to date on all the going's on with BGT and our activity at the homestead, so you know it's been wild, but despite the craziness of it, we've had some really great times. Aiden is LOVING his new big boy bed and the status that comes with it. He has already nicknamed it "B" and when he walks in his room, he smiles and yells, "B!!!" like it's been forever since he's seen the bed and can't wait to be reunited with it. He finally got through the last of his four incisors and has been sleeping like a champion in his new B. This alone makes Mommy and Daddy so happy. He is still such a cuddler and we love our time together reading stories - only he reads them to us more now in his own form of Aidenspeak. It's a sight to see for sure. He's finally made the transition from two naps to one, and quite well I might add. Three hours every afternoon is a nice means of peace and quiet for mom (ME!) and gives me some down time that I know will be great once the baby is here. All around he's doing super and is trying to get his little mind around what this new baby in Mama's tummy is going to mean for him. (Don't we all, Boogs, don't we all.)

Cutie pie's big boy bed...before the rail. The rail is NO FUN to change sheets with let me tell you! It about set me into LABOR! Geez. And the boy and his books...does he LOVE his books...

My sleeping "giant" in his bed...still trying to find a time to get him in the real thing asleep. It is so cute.

We've also got BGT's room in a semi-orderly place. It's not a finished product by any means, but she likely will not even use it until this summer, so I'm hoping that as we have help from family and friends we can piecemeal it together between now and then. No pictures, not many trinkets, and the decor is sparse, but hey, the bed's in there and the dresser's stocked, so at least we're somewhere.

As an update on BGT, we have had a few more visits, none too "awesome" in my doctor's terms, but she is hanging in there and chillin inside for now. I'll post another shorter note about that in a few minutes.

Nathan's job continues to go well, although we still don't see each other all that often. This part is the hardest for me and continues to be hard as much as I wish it weren't. It is getting better and the warm weather (honestly) has helped. Seems crazy, but at least I can be outside for some of the day rather than trapped in the wintery mess we've experienced the past few months. He is enjoying the work and likes his co-workers, so all seems to be progressing in the career front for him, which is a huge praise in this wacky market we find ourselves in.

So that's the short of it. Well, as short as I can be at least. Again, I'll try and get some of the pictures posted soon. Until then, Kara out.

What's In A Name?

2010-03-04T13:20:00.000-06:00

So yes, here we are, a maximum of two and a half weeks from welcoming our baby girl into the world and we have no name. You heard me, no name. She's been BGT since we found out it was a girl oh so many months ago, and now here we are at the end of the road and she remains nameless other than her initial moniker. With Aiden we took a trip, decided on a name, and that was that. I mean, we changed it from the name we originally chose to Aiden the week after the trip, but we still had a mission to decide and did it. This time, amidst careful deliberation and discussion, we have yet to come to any real decision.

We set up criteria, that was careful and specific, in order to help make our decision easier. We even narrowed the list of 50 down to 10, but still with no real "gut" feeling on what to do. As we now near her birth, we are faced with a monumental and life changing decision. Naming our child. The pressure alone can wreak havoc on someone's emotional state, let me tell you. Throw in a dose of good ol' pregnancy hormones and a 20 month old who never stops (never!) and it makes making a decision one monumental task.

I think the thing that plays into the decision the most is our desire for her name to mean something, really mean something, to us. Whether it's because it was a part of our name(s), or because of heritage, or because of a person who influenced us, or whatever it is, we just want it to be meaningful. We want it this way so that when she is older (like whe she turns 13 and decides she'd rather be named Kim instead of Khloe) we can express to her the meaning of her name, why she has it, and at least provide her with some solid reasoning to back up our decision and hopefully allow her to find a great appreciation not only for her name, but for the incredibly awesome parents we are who took the time to give it to her! :)

So, while I wish I could provide you with a decision, all I can tell you is that we are very close and hope to finalize all those little itty bitty details this week as we prepare for her arrival (very soon!). Just know that if you hate it, we don't care. :) Her name was thought about, prayed about, and decided upon with great care for who she is and will be as a woman of God and our little gift! So there. :)

Baby Shower for BGT

2010-02-23T15:00:00.001-06:00

This past weekend was an all-out celebration for our impending arrival of BGT. Still no name yet, so it is what it is. We're working on it and talked the names in question over with everyone all weekend, so we have some good feedback and we'll just keep working. I think one day it'll just hit like Aiden's did.

Anyway, on to the weekend. Meghan, Parker, Phillip, and Fran all arrived on Friday night and after some catching upand waiting on dear Nathan to get home from work, we headed out to Mellow Mushroom for some yummy pizza. We hopped around downtown Franklin, did some "belly dancing" (preggo style), and had a great time catching up on old times and talking about those to come - hello, beach trip!

The next day was shower day! Mom and I were up early and setting up in the Clubhouse and getting ready for the company. The other helpers arrived just in time and made the place look like a pink palace of all things baby! Kari and Andrew arrived that morning and by the time the shower rolled around, the room looked great and all the decorations turned out fabulous. We were ready for a girlie good time while the boys took their day of play in downtown Franklin.

The cake was super cute and super yummy! The girls (in leiu of playing silly games) got to design their own onesies! It was a fun activity and something really special for the girls to give Baby Girl. They turned out so cute...even with a few mishaps.

BGT got lots of great gifts and I feel so much more prepared, especially if she decides to make her grand entrance a little early. But let's all hope she continues to incubate for a little while longer! We gave out some yummy cookies for party favors and sent everyone on their merry way after a great great day!

We went back to Casa de Tabler to relax for a few before heading out to dinner with our little group. After a few failed attempts at making it to eat, we finally ended up at our hometown favorite and let everyone meet our staff and friends at Pueblo Real. Gotta love it. I had a great time this weekend, and hopefully everyone else did as well...including my number one baby boy.

Thank you to everyone who drove from all over, and those who walked from down the street, to make this day so special for me, for BGT, and for my family of three, soon to be four. I am so blessed. I can't wait to meet this little girl who'll change our little world. I love you all!

Checking in on BGT

2010-02-08T15:17:00.000-06:00

Today we had our 33 week check up and ultrasound to check in on BGT and make sure she is still growing even though I am not! These visits always make me nervous, not because I fear something will be wrong, but for probably the very same reasons I fear having two kids in the house before I actually HAVE to kids in the house - what we tell ourselves in our minds is often so very different in reality. And though, at times, it is worse in reality than it is in our minds, so very many more times it is not...and this is my hope!

So anyway, all seems well and fine in the little one's world. My fundus (or my preggo belly in layman's terms) did manage to grow a week over the two that have passed since my last visit, so I'm now at 27 weeks. And our little peanut is measuring fine right around 31 weeks - so just 2 weeks behind, even though the space she's living in is 6 behind! How this is possible, I do not know. But it is my pregnancy reality...it was very similar with Aiden, I just thought it would be different with my second. Oh well. The bad news, if you can call it that, is that her growth dropped from the 42nd percentile to the 21st, so half of what it was a month ago. And even though she wants me to start eating 1,000 more calories at day (WHAT!?! Not possible.), my doctor isn't concerned quite yet, and won't be until she drops below the 10th percentile. We go back in two weeks for normal weight, fundus, dialation check, and will more than likely have another U/S the week after that. So we'll have a better idea in then, so just hanging on for that visit.

It's funny, though, having regular ultrasounds and taking the opportunity to get to "know" your child before they arrive. Seeing the way they reside in the small space they've been given and wondering how that will coincide with how they will reside in the large space they explore when they are released! Aiden still has so many mannerisms that he did in the womb, and I love the fact I had the opportunity to recognize that. BGT has the same little profile that Aiden did and THANK GOODNESS her head is smaller! :) Hooray! There are days I say I'm ready for her to be here 1) so I can meet her, 2) so I can stop having somone kick my rib cage all night, and 3) so I can put to bed the fear that I have and hope is worse than reality. But then I realize I really am not quite ready. God knows that too, thankfully, and doesn't grant my wish when I do voice it. It's allowing me some precious time with Aiden right now. As awful as it is having Nate gone all day, my "Boogs" and I have been able to have some amazing time over the last week or so, and I really enjoy it. I enjoy the mess out of him and never want him to feel neglected or "less" than this new person that will soon be coming in to take over the world as he knows it. I love that he loves to cuddle with me in the afternoons and at rest time and bed. I never want that to go away. And while I know it will, I am doing what I can so savor each moment (even if it's stressful) that I have with him.

So, here we sit, BGT and I, as we play the waiting game in these last few weeks of her time with me in the quiet, small space she lives in. So protected, so safe, so silent. Let's hope and pray the next few weeks are as quiet, as sane, as safe, as productive (there is still so much to do!), and enable us to truly enjoy the time we have as a trio.

Ch Ch Ch Changes...more!!

2010-02-05T21:43:00.000-06:00

I realize I already have a posting with this title...so I added MORE...meaning there are LOTS more changes upon us even without the addition of BGT. Not sure how her arrival is going to impact this house, but know maybe there will be a Ch Ch Ch Changes volume three by the time she arrives!

That being said, February has found us in the midst of lots of change. We closed out January with two solid weeks of having Nate at home not working and that meant LOTS of family time and soaking up of the little bits of heaven we get in being able to be home together. He did spend his last week painting the nursery, guest bedroom and bathroom, and Aiden/BGT's bathroom. It was a big job, but we are both glad it is done. Pictures to come.

To top the week off, we got snowed in the last weekend of January with about 6 inches of dumped on snow that hit Nashville. It was quite a bit of snow for this area and something you don't see all too often. It was COLD, too! Even too cold for Aiden to be outside longer than a few minutes at a time, which says a lot. For those of you who know him, you know he is not faint of heart when it comes to cold or hot weather, so for him to NOT want to be outside, this said a lot. Regardless, we still had to say good-bye to dear old dad on Sunday afternoon as a cab driver made the trek to take him from here to the airport so we didn't have to be out in the mess.

And that was the beginning of the end.

The end, that is, of our three year stint of Nate working at home. While he have seasons of insanely long hours (like 2 am) and sometimes quite a bit of travel, we have really all three been at home together since Aiden joined us, and Nate and I before his arrival. So Aiden and I sent him off to DC amidst a flurry of tears being shed from both of us, and luckily the little dude didn't realize what I knew - just how much the days to follow would continue to bring change, and with it, more tears. Don't get me wrong, this is a GREAT opportunity for Nate, working for Deloitte, doing what he had been with his previous employer. With the economy the way it is, the fact that a job found him, and such a great one at that, says enough about the calibur of guy I am blessed to be married to. But, the reality of leaving every day and being gone for 8 - 12 hours is not so much appealing, when on most days, I know I could walk about 17 stairs and see his face. Boo.

Anyway, his training went great, and he returned to us on Tuesday night, just in time to see the deluge of rain that has been pummeling us since the snow left. Fun! But the next day brought with it the reality that he was indeed going to be leaving us every day. Every day. Every day. Ugh. I just don't know if I can do it. Luckily, this first week of February brought with it it's own share of projects for me, so during the day, I was so busy I didn't really allow myself to think about his absence. But in the few seconds of any downtime, I realized he was gone in a matter of seconds, and was hit with the realization that so much had changed. And in the same token, made me so very grateful for the man that he is.

I don't think many couples, married or not, have the kind of relationship we have, but it is one for which I am so blessed to be involved in. Nathan is truly my best friend and partner. He is an amazing father, and does so much to help me, and to be active in Aiden's world. To see him interact with Aiden as a father every day, and to have him help me in the ways that he does be it in the big or small things is more beneficial than I could probably express in any format. He knows me. He knows when I'm stressed and need a break from work, wife, mother, housekeeper, financeer, chauffeur, and friend. When he was home, he could encourage me, help me, listen to me, give me time that he didn't have, even if it meant five minutes. With him gone, I feel his absence more than I have ever wanted to know it. It's deafening. His absence has made me realize how very much he does in every day, from Swiffering the floor every morning, to giving Aiden his bath every night, and how very much I will miss having those things done not only for me, but for us...and how very lucky I am.

So this week we have been very sad. I feel a loss I cannot put into words. We are still connected, and we will continue to be, that will never change. But my ability to connect with him face-to-face at any time of the day has gone, and with it, a part of myself that I can't get back. I am sad. I am scared. What will this be like when we have a baby girl who won't get the same kind of time with her dad that Aiden has had and benefitted so very much? I am sad for Aiden, who LOVES the mess out of his "Dada." I know he is too young to remember this time, but it has been priceless for me to be a part of their relationship from the outside looking in and see the bond and the love that they have in this unique father-son relationship. Aiden is such a Daddy's boy, in a good way, the way you want to see a father and son connect. It makes me sad I won't get to see this during my work days. He is sad, too, and knows my pain. He now drives 45 minutes one way to work and realizes that in total, it's an hour and a half he'd rather be spending at home. We are sad.

This, too, shall pass...or so they say. A part of me doesn't want it to pass. I want to grieve this and feel the weight of it. I hope it passes one day, I'm just not ready yet. This week was hard. Almost more than I could take. But He never gives us more than we can take. So, I guess it was just enough to make it hard...hard enough to lean right where I should be leaning and nowhere else.

Painting for Baby Girl

2010-01-24T14:11:00.004-06:00

We spent this week (well, Nathan did at least, since he's off work!) getting ready to paint the nursery for BGT. We thought about keeping the nursery where it was and moving Aiden to another room, but figured in the end, it would make his transition into Big Brother World a little easier if he had some things that were constant in his world with all the changes that will no doubt be on their way soon. So, since Nathan will no longer be needing a home office (still sad about that), we opted to make this room the nursery for BGT. There have been many conversations about colors and such, but we finally opted for something a little outside the box for us semi-traditional home keepers. I'll spare you the decision and the details, but we used the latter half of this week to paint her room and will endevor to paint the rest of the upstairs next week.

I think I like it, but it's still an office, so hard to say for sure how all the details will come together to make it "hers." We also found a GREAT dresser and ordered it, so it should be here the first week of February. That might make it feel more real once we have some furniture in there other than the desk and bookshelves. We probably won't move the rest until the mattress arrives so Aiden isn't sleeping all over the place in the meantime.

I'll get some pictures up, but will wait until the room has less stuff in it before doing so. Still in the process of thinking up names. This decision was so hard for us with Aiden, but we ended up picking a name that truly suits him, his personality, his persona, and his cute little look. I'm confident we'll end up being able to do the same with her, it's just the unknown that makes the decision so hard. We probably overthink things way too much, but there are so many things we take into consideration with how we pick names. I want her name to mean something, so that in the years she finds herself hating it, she can at least know that we chose her name with thought and true intent for her. We've been taking suggestions, but nothing really sticks yet...we'll see where we land in a few weeks.

I'm 31 weeks this week and just now beginning to feel it. And while I am grateful this impatience has just now arrived, it doesn't make it much easier knowing I still have 8 weeks to go. In the same token on the flip side, in less than 8 weeks, we'll be bringing our new little one home. Hard to fathom...it freaks me out as much as it does excite me. In so many ways it feels scary and thrilling in one breath. Although I'll say the scary part is more true as the days wind down. I've begun to feel her move so much more in the past few weeks. Not that I didn't feel her before, but I think because her little space is getting smaller and smaller and she is getting bigger and bigger, I feel her all the more. This movement makes for fun evenings and interesting moments in my day - surprising quick jabs to the ribs as she's already got her head down and feet up in preparation for her arrival!

I get these weekly updates and this week said, "This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long, weighs about 3.3 pounds (four oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt." Great! (sarcasm). She can turn her head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath the skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. (No joke!) Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

Since I won't have an ultrasound at my visit this week (will wait until 33 weeks for that), this is the best chance I've got to see what she might look like in there (even though my "space" is measuring about six weeks behind, she's still growing right on track per my last visit...so I'm sure it looks differently, but this is about all I've got to go on for now!).

Big Boy!

2010-01-18T14:03:00.000-06:00

We are preparing for BGT's impending arrival and spent this weekend getting some things for Aiden and for her. So we spent this Saturday shopping for some goodies. Our first stop was at Pottery Barn Kids where we got him his brand new BIG BOY BED and this makes me sad!! It is so hard to believe I won't be able to see him in his little crib anymore, but there is peace in knowing I have a few more weeks to prepare myself for it as we wait for his mattress to arrive. So he won't make the transition quite yet. And to be honest, we might wait until after BGT arrives so he can have some time to adjust to her being here before we move him. She'll be downstairs with us for a few months anyway, so we have some time.

We picked out his comforter and shams, but need to get sheets and his new artwork, pictures, and decorations for his big boy room. He'll stay in the same room, but need to update the "baby" part for some big boy stuff! I'm somewhat anxious about his transition, but I've talked with a few moms who've made the transition (and successful at that!) in the past few months and so I feel confident with as good a little sleeper as my little dude is, that we'll do just fine moving on up!

I'll post pictures when I have them, but for now, the bed's still in the box waiting for us to assemble it. He's not quite sure what is going on yet, and I'd like to delay that as long as I can...that's the selfish part in me that doesn't want to see him grow up. I know it's inevitable, but a few months is the least I can do to enjoy him being Baby Aiden for just a little longer. He is such a sweet little boy who loves to cuddle and who is vigorous about life and just about everything that he finds in this great big world of his. Yes, it is his world in case you didn't know. But for now, I will cherish my sweet moments with him reading and rocking at night before it disappears, which I know it will. How I ache for that day.

Hanging on...

2010-01-11T19:33:00.000-06:00

The week started out full of emotions as a good friend of mine from high school, whom I have only been connected with mildly on Facebook since that time, was experiencing her own share of pain that spoke to me and moved me deeply. You can read her full story here, at Jeanna's blog, but in short she was pregnant with twins after years of trying. She was beyond elated and her story makes it evident how deeply she wanted to be a mother. They went for their 20 week ultrasound to see the babies, check on them, and ultimately find out the sex of the babies. Instead of finding out these things, they found two baby boys with no heart beats. They had to deliver them two days later to two terribly devastated parents. Maybe it was my current state of pregnancy, maybe it was that particular day in my life, or maybe it was the rush of hormones that pulsing through me since I am not one, but two girls, at the moment, but something in me broke. I spent that day, and many of the following, broken, desolate, asking "why?", and trying to understand how it all happened for them while also making sure not to let it control the mindset of my own pregnancy going forward. It was not an easy journey, to say it mildly, but as the days passed, my head cleared and I was able to get some peace for them and for myself.

I felt terribly I hadn't been in more frequent contact with Jeanna after high school, mostly since I found myself pregnant and identifying with her loss as I knew that feeling from several years ago. Though not the same, I, too, experienced the loss of a baby and knew how deeply and profoundly it impacted me and my desire to be a mother. I can't fathom the questions she's asking herself, but could only recall what it was I found myself searching for in the days and months that followed that experience. I know there is hope for her, as I have found, and am now able to see in Aiden's face every day...and soon enough my baby girl's face. I pray for a safe and healthy delivery and safe and healthy child, as all parents do, but maybe even more so after feeling the pain through Jeanna's experience. I am anxious to see what God does in their lives and for them as I am sure it will be miraculous and ONLY something He can do.

While I didn't mean for this to be such a bland and emotion-filled post, I found myself in a place of quiet empathy this week and felt not much else. I am not even sure how to express all I felt in the days that followed, but felt the need to share her story, if only as a means to remind myself to pray for her.

The week that followed this experience only brought with it it's own strife in the form of work. The good part was that Nathan was offered a great position at Deloitte (formerly known as Deloitte and Touche), and would be resigning from his current role this week. The bad part was that also meant his time at home with us would be shortly coming to an end. Dealing with this next challenge is probably much worse in my head than it will be in reality, and while I am thrilled he's been given this amazing opportunity, I am also terribly sad to lose the special time we have together at home. I guess a part of me always knew it would not last forever, but I dreaded the day it would come. So, beginning in February, we'll be saying bye bye to Daddy as he drives off to work and we try and man the fort. I guess the part that makes me the saddest is that he won't have the same special time at home with BGT as he has with Aiden. Time which has created a special bond between the two of them that is so neat to observe and even better to be a part of as a partner. Everyone tells me it will be better than I think, but what I think is that life will be CRAZY about a month after he starts work...and I find myself at home alone with two kiddos both clammoring for food and attention and no one to share in the day to day with. It will make me sad, but I also know that getting through it will make me strong.

It's already 2010! But let me update 2009 first!

2010-01-11T15:09:00.004-06:00

I was just reviewing my list of "wishes" from my 2009 New Year's posting and realized all the things that had been true in 2008 that I'd already forgotten. Additionally, I realized I hadn't come back to my list as frequently as I'd liked in my postings or in reality. Regardless, I need to hold myself accountable for what I set out to accomplish in 2009. So here goes in short form with comments to boot!

Read the Bible every day

I did this! Well, kind of. As much as I wish I could say I read chapters upon chapters a day, that just wouldn't be truthful and honestly, as I found out the hard way, is much harder to do with a toddler at your toes all the time! But, I did read at least a verse, if not more, a day and did my very best to either a) pass it along to someone else in need or b) ponder it and it's impact to my life. So, I feel I gave this a good college try and in some small way succeeded.

Finish 12 books, novels, etc. (books, not magazines!)

I did this! I could list, but you'd be bored by my list. I think I counted 19 books.

Run a half marathon

I did this! April 18 marked the day I completed my first (and most certainly NOT my last) half marathon. It was thrilling, exhilarating, and I set out that day to run a full marathon by the end of the year...well, we all know how that went. KNOCKED UP! And while I did and do continue to run, 26.2 was just not wise.

Go on a date once a week. (with my hubby of course; see note* for further clarification)* This term "date" does not mean spend money on a meal, but just spend time out of the house and on our own away from Aiden to remember that we are first and foremost, husband and wife. Even if that means spending time at the good old Border's for some one on one reading and coffee. Regardless, to get out of the house and talk, dive in, breathe, and appreciate one another.

We did this! While I can't say with complete accuracy that each and every week we did a "date" out of the house, we did take time and spend with one another, if even over a glass of wine after a long day (or week) to decompress and talk about things other than Aiden or other children, but us, what was on our hearts, how we were growing, desired to grow, what we were feeling, etc. All in all I would consider this a success and look forward to continuing this "tradition" even as we embark on trying to pass TWO kids off to someone for a few hours a week! :) It may not be weekly, but monthly, that we make it out of the house, but we'll be trying, and I guess every little night helps.

Build deep and lasting friendships (dig deep into others' lives and not let myself or them get away with surface level conversations, or to let myself shy away from reaching out)

Working on this...still. We did meet a few folks this year and developed deeper friendships, we also said good-bye to some that weren't going to last us the long haul. Both ventures equally challenging in their own right, so this will be passed on as an ongoing theme for us, with a few minor changes to objectives along the way.

Find a church home

I (well, we) did not do this. Though we tried and looked, we have not yet found anywhere that feels like home for us. We'll continue the journey in 2010 and potentially beyond as we seek a place where our children can come to know the Lord in a way that is uniquely found in these settings...separate from our opinions and abilities as parents to show them who God is and can be.

Pay off a loan

I did this! Almost two. I had one in mind when I wrote this post, and that one is long gone!

Take at least one vacation (like how I say, "at least one"? I will gladly welcome more!)

I did this! And managed to score more than one. :) Love it. We'll see what this year holds. Hopefully the same.

Worry less, encourage more

And this...well, I continue to work on this. While I have gotten much better at encouraging WHEN I feel worried, I still continue to worry probably far more than I should. I realized this the most when Aiden was staying with my parents. I had some of the best sleep ever when he was there. This happened because 1) he was with someone I trusted and very safe, and 2) he wasn't upstairs with something potentially happening to him in his sleep! Not sure why I can spearate like that, but it just worked that way. Though this is a small thing, it showed me I have not let go of my worry. So...this is a work in progress, as most of my "issues" are!

Hope this update proved valuable. I know maybe not for you, but did for me. I'll be posting my 2010 goals and move forward statements shortly...maybe later this week when I have some time. I hate that it's already past the 10th and I still haven't done it. Ugh! Oh well...working on it counts.

First Snow

2010-01-10T14:55:00.000-06:00

Of 2010 happened this past week/weekend in Nashville. Though we doubted it would actually happen, they cancelled school on Thursday as early as 2 pm on Wednesday in preparation for our "winter blast." While we woke up to nothing, not even a flake, snow did start falling around 10 am Thursday morning and didn't really stop fully until Sunday. Nashville is the only place I have ever been where it can be below freezing all day and all night, snow continuously for three days, and yet there is accumulation of oh, say, maybe a half inch in the most rural areas of town. SO WEIRD!

Anyway, despite the lack of accumulation, we did have snow covered roads, driveways, and sidewalks for a few days and it's just now beginning to clear. As cold as it was, Aiden has no qualms about cold weather and we just had to be out in it at least once a day. Though he wasn't as interested in playing with the snow as he was walking in it and taking his usual path around to the neighbor's houses to peruse their toys and other accutraments. How the child can be outside in weather hardly hitting the teens for longer than 20 minutes is beyond me. He did NOT get this from me. I like my warmth and l-0-v-e my summer weather! I am not a fan of winter, and don't forsee that changing ANYTIME soon. Regardless, it was fun to have snow for him to enjoy and to see him enjoy it. Last year we had snow, but he was only six months old and didn't really get it. This year he got it and enjoyed it with full and reckless abandon. I know in only a few short years he'll be one of the kids making me scared out of my mind as he sleds down the steep hills in our neighborhood....I see myself waiting at the bottom of the hill fearing for his very life.

Oh the joy and beauty that comes from a fresh powdery snow. Despite how terribly cold it was, the sights around town were breathtakingly beautiful as the hills and vistas (as Nathan calls them) were dusted ever so perfectly with a smattering of snow. It was a lovely site to behold since we don't get it here that often and we won't be taking our annual ski trip this year due to someone being knocked up. Oops. Oh well. We enjoyed the flakes we got and are sad to see them go, but are grateful for the reminder it brings us that there is life underneath the cold surface and renewal beyond that. Spring, though far enough away, is right around the corner and we anticipate it with joy and fear as we prepare to have our worlds rocked by another little joy...

Pictures to come. Just didn't have time to get them on this computer. In the meantime you can view a few here.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T20:12:00.005-06:00

What a great Christmas we had this year...and how quickly it flew. As should be expected with an almost 18-month old underfoot, I guess, but I wish Christmas could truly last the whole month. After a lot of careful deliberation, we made the decision to stay at home this Christmas to enjoy what we feel may indeed be the "calm before the storm" with BGT's arrival in a few months (three to be exact). And while we thought we might regret the decision - due to the lack of our ability to see family and visit and have "help" with our little one - we found we would be the most at ease, the most relaxed, and the least pressed for time (on other people's calendars) if we stayed at home and began some of our own traditions...even though Aiden will not remember these years. This fact in and of itself is something that still makes me sad no matter how many times I recall it. All the more reason I find myself trying my hardest to track his habits, take his picture, and capture what I can of his cute personality on camera before this time, too, passes all too quickly as all the other phases have.

Since most of the heavy work with our jobs took place at the beginning of the month, Nate and I luckily had some PTO to burn the last few weeks of the year and were able to take advantage of some down time and enjoy the respite from our "go all day" norm. We began to love this and I think Aiden did, too, as he was sleeping in till 8 most mornings - can I say PRAISE JESUS for this!? :) Those without children will probably not ever really "get" this, but to have your little one make the jump from a 6:30 wake up call to 8 am is such an ever-loving thing to behold and appreciate. It made our transition to Christmas all the more lovely. I spent my days with my boys buying last minute gifts and decorating and my nights wrapping gifts and baking, two of my favorite holiday pasttimes. It was a lovely time. I love wrapping gifts. It brings back memories of when you purchased it and why, and then you get to wrap it with careful attention to detail, and tie it all up with a simple or overzealous bow...both of which have their value, repsectively. It is both a soothing and memorable time for me each year and makes me remember how very much I love giving and why I ask continually for the resources to be able to do so with whatever means I can over the course of my lifetime.

Before I knew it Christmas week was upon us. At the last minute, my family decided to come visit for a few days, making our Christmas celebration a bit more full and complete...in that we were able to share it with others and appreciate some QT. The week flew by. We visited with friends on Christmas Eve at a little shin dig in the 'hood and had a great time meeting and enjoying the company of others before coming home and diving into a few of our Christmas traditions. One of which is opening one gift from our Poage relatives since they celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day. I found myself up until nearly midnight putting together and wrapping the last of Aiden's big and little gifts...and realized this would be the first of many nights I (and Nathan) would spend being up until all hours of the night preparing for the festivities of the next day for our little ones. Before we could blink Christmas morning was here and we were off and celebrating. Luckily, we were able to take it S-L-O-W since Aiden is in the mode of "open and play for a while" with his gifts (rather than the open and ask "that's it?" - which I do NOT look forward to). I hope he always appreciates the time and pleasure in opening each gift...though I know there will be years when quantity seems to matter so much more. (sigh). It was such a joy for me to see the utter joy and amazement on his face after opening each gift - it was like he had just opened the BEST THING EVER...EVERY TIME! How quickly we forget the innocence found in these precious moments. It allowed me to breathe deep his joy and excitement over the course of our three-hour open-fest prior to a brunch of homemade cinnamon rolls and breakfast casserole.

And then, another blink, and Christmas Day was ending. After a fabulous (if I do say so myself) Christmas dinner - really my first complete feast! - Nathan and I headed out to our traditional Christmas movie (and date night). What a nice and relaxing way to complete this nearly perfect day full of love, laughter, giving, joy, eating, and others.

We were off in the cold post-Christmas weather to get our discounted Christmas wares for next year and enjoy one last meal before sending Mimi and Pops on their merry way. We were blessed to have the help in caring for Aiden...they played SO HARD with the little guy and kept him going in his typical non-stop fashion for us for nearly their entire trip. He loves them and the fun they bring to the house every visit. How hard it is to believe at this time next year Aiden will be nearly 2 and a half and we'll be toting around a 9 month old baby girl. Whew! I get stressed and tired just thinking about maintaining that! Nevertheless, how much more joy will be found in those moments of the four of us? I'm sure countless. I hope you all took time to appreciate the big and small things in this Christmas season. I know I find myself grateful, full, and in anxious anticipation of what 2010 will hold. I am holding on tightly to the last few days of 2009 and enjoying every minute of rest and love shared in this little house of ours.

Aiden listening to Mommy's tummy...and what is inside!

Aiden and his daddy...two of a kind! Stuffing face with Christmas brunch while we open gifts! :) Hungry, growing boy!
Playing with his music table and making sure EVERYONE is clapping along. If you don't clap, he stares you down until you do! Really!!
Our tree and "family" decor! My sweet boy shared his tricycle with the twins down the street, Chase and Lily, and even pushed Chase while he rode. Such a giver!! Boogs decided to put on a pair of mommy's Uggs. He wore them around trying to walk for a good half hour. So funny!
This little towel came from Aiden..they made it at school and he came home with it on his last day. I love that I can have the memory of his foot at this stage! I might do this for grandparent gifts next year from my kids. Such a sweet rememberance! :)

See Aiden on Santa's List

2009-12-15T11:53:00.001-06:00

Aiden made Santa's List- It's the NICE list this year...HOORAY!

"http://family.go.com/santas-list/video/111734-karatabler/"

Visit with Santa

2009-12-14T14:09:00.005-06:00

So every year our neighborhood has Santa come to us. This treat is quite awesome because I'm sure if you visit the mall anytime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you have seen the lines awaiting three minutes on Santa's lap. The process for this "experience" is an experience in and of itself:

They set up a night to offer tickets to residents.
The tickets are on "sale" for three hours and are on a first come first serve basis. So we all stand patiently (or not so patiently) in line awaiting our turn to choose a day/time.
There are two days you can choose from.
Each day has a three to four hour time period set aside, from which you select a 30 minute time slot (if the time you want is still available when you get to the front of the line).
You show up five minutes early on your chosen day and get a professional picture with Santa...along with some hot chocolate, juice, teddy grahams, and goldfish.

It is quite an ordeal! But wow...how it beats standing in line at the mall for who knows how long and potentially even long enough to see nap time come and go. NO THANKS!

All in all our trip was a success. And by success, I mean NO TEARS - who knows if we actually got a good shot in the few minutes we spent with Santa, but at least we weren't crying! :) Whew! Despite runny noses and a time bordering on nap time, we managed to get in an out unscathed. So we'll post the "pro picture" later, but for now, here's a look at the Westhaven Santa and my cute little curious peanut!

He's asking, "Who is this guy, Mom?"

Oh, and AFTER our nap AFTER Santa, Daddy got out his old cowboy boots (his FIRST PAIR EVER) for little man to try on. How cute is he? He couldn't quite figure out how to walk normally, but had a nice cowboy jaunt going on...so funny! :) Why this cowboy is carrying around tennis balls, I really couldn't tell you, but how cute!

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T15:56:00.005-06:00

We kicked our Thanksgiving festivities by rewarding ourselves with some much needed time off. Saturday prior to the big feast, we headed to my parents house to spend the week with them since it'd been a while since we last spent some time together. It was great to know we'd be able to spend some good quality time with family, while also getting some rest! Plus, my dad's parents (my grandparents and Aiden's great-grandparents) from Michigan were coming to visit and they have only met Aiden one time, when he was three months old, and he's obviously changed a LOT since then!

We had a great weekend and enjoyed some gorgeous weather. Nate and I headed out Monday for a day trip to Atlanta in search of baby gear and a big boy bed for Aiden's new room. While we didn't have any luck, we did get to grab a quick bite to eat with some good friends, Meghan and Parker, and celebrate an early Thanksgiving with friends we are so grateful for!

Back to Knoxville for the grandparents arrival on Tuesday and Wednesday we took an afternoon trip to the Festival of Trees led us to Aiden's first carousel ride. He liked it a lot! A fun day overall as we continued to get the food ready for Thursday's feast! Thanksgiving morning Nate, my dad, and me all went to run a Turkey Trot (an annual tradition for us!) and a six month pregnant me actually won my age group! Woo Hoo! My dad won his age group as well, so we took home some great prizes (cool water bottles) and lots of pride. Nathan got a PR in the 5k, which was a huge accomplishment also. And back we scurried for some fresh, hot out of the oven, homemade cinnamon rolls! Boy, do I love that treat after a good run.

The Thanksgiving feast was amazing and not much could have topped it. We had a great time celebrating and sharing our "thankfuls" which are always so numerous year after year. The rest of the weekend flew by and before I knew it we were home and had a Christmas tree on top of our rental car. We were definitely a site to behold with a car stuffed full of people and goodies and a big tree on top. But we are ready for Christmas! Here's a few pictures from the weekend.

Parenting.com

2009-11-19T12:03:00.003-06:00

So, I entered my sweet Aiden into another modeling contest for the cutest kid ever. And despite my desire to have him win on my own, I can't enter 1,000 times a day, so I'm asking you to vote for him. I entered under two aliases to increase his exposure. :) So, here's my shameless plug.

Vote for me in this contest!

Contest details

Alabama Adventures

2009-11-09T14:58:00.005-06:00

This weekend we had plans to attend a 30th birthday (surprise) for Nathan's friend, Phillip. Phillip was Nathan's best man at our wedding. He actually bought his engagement ring the weekend of our nuptials and proposed to his bride, Fran, shortly thereafter. They came to surprise Nathan for HIS 30th birthday 18 months ago and drove from their home in Birmingham to meet baby Aiden shortly after he was born. Only to announce they were expecting themselves!! The happy couple are now living with their 9-month old daughter, Lucy, in Pensacola, Florida. What this means is that we don't see them nearly as often as we'd like. We keep up with them via their family blog, Life Of Skipper.

His party was a fun adventure to Talladega, Alabama to take part in the Dale Jarrett Racing Experience. Six laps around a world-renown race track is a pretty awesome gift. Much less to be surprised by 30 of your closest friends cheering you on while you race.

Our plan was to drop Aiden off with my parents on Friday afternoon and then drive the 4-hour trek to the track the following morning; however, my little boogs had his own plan and came down with a slight case of bronchitis, which made it look like Mom was going to be staying home with him that day while Dad went to represent for our family at the party. At the last minute on Friday, though, we got word that we might have a place to stay in Birmingham for the night, making our drive only an hour in the morning (WAY better for Aiden!). So we talked about it and decided we should all go see them and if Aiden didn't feel well, I would just stay in B-ham with him.

What an amazing gift to be given. The stay worked out perfectly. Aiden slept almost the entire trip down in the car, then we were able to spend some QT with old friends, Kari and Andrew (and Quincy), whom we hadn't seen since our wedding. It was a miracle on so many levels. The following morning, time was given when we thought there would be none in order for us to spend just a few more hours together before we departed on our journey to the speedway. We relished in our hours together and were able to catch up on things from the past 4 years of our lives, sharing the ins and outs of so many itty bitty pieces of so many things. So many times I caught myself thinking, "Wow, I am really here. Wow. I really love this girl. Wow. God is so good. To not be a "true" part of one another's lives the past 4 years and to be given a gift like this is truly a miracle." It was really worth the "risk."

Off we went to the speedway for an afternoon in the infield.

It was great to see Phillip and his family. To meet Lucy. To catch up with some of Nathan's old college friends who we just don't see nearly as often as we'd like. A great, great trip overall. We headed back to Nashvegas late that afternoon and Aiden did great in the car despite the 4 hour drive. Such a great little guy! We recovered all day Sunday and got some things done around the house that had been lingering for quite some time. All in all a very successful weekend and one we will remember for quite some time. Here are a few pictures from the day.

The fam in B-ham before we headed off to the speedway. Nathan with some of his college buddies.

Aiden playing with Lucy and sharing!

Phillip getting into his racecar.

Aiden loved feeling everyone's beards!! So funny.

And the baby is a...

2009-11-04T14:58:00.002-06:00

...mystery. We still don't know. Boo. The baby decided to have crossed legs during the entire 40 minutes I was on the table. So, the consensus from most everyone who is putting their bets down is that it is a girl, and the ultrasound tech said it could be, but is not 100% either way. I did get some great video footage, which is quite amazing, but no certainty on the sex of the baby quite yet. I will go back on November 30 for another look to try and be clear. The control freak part of me has to know for SURE before I start doing anything. I won't go pink crazy either way. Promises there.

I am not sure why, but I wanted to know so much more with this pregnancy than I did with my first and that one was just as much of a surprise. Go figure. Maybe now it's because I DON'T know that I want to know even more. And 26 days is a long time to wait for another look! Oh, well. God is teaching me patience not only in this area of my life, but in SO MANY OTHERS...almost too many to count. And while I am thankful for the growth, it's not always the easiest thing to endure. But there is hope. And beauty on the other side. For that, I am willing to wait.

Hot Air Balloons ROCK!

2009-11-02T10:10:00.004-06:00

One of my birthday gifts from my awesome Hubs was a Hot Air Balloon ride over the beautiful countryside we call home. It is one of the things on my 30 things to do before I'm 30. And even though the date we "sailed" was just over a month after the actual day, the wait was incredibly worth it. It was an experience (and gift) I will not soon forget.

Our little balloon traveled from Brentwood to Columbia, which takes about 25 minutes (max) in a car and took us about an hour and a half. We hovered between 1,200 and 4,000 feet above the areas of Brentwood, Franklin, and Columbia in our journey and saw some of the most amazing colors, homes, landscapes, beautiful farm country, and even our neighborhood (off in the horizon). We landed amidst an amazing fall sunset on the clearest day in quite a while. Not a cloud in the sky.

And anyone scared of heights that has used this as an excuse to not to do such a great ride, should reconsider. You don't feel a falling sensation one bit. You don't blow back and forth in the wind. It is one of the most relaxing and spectacular things you can experience. It's like the perfect drug...without any side effects other than maybe landing in a farmer's plot of land who happens to have a gun. Luckily, this did not happen to us.

Thank you, Nathan, for such a great gift and special day to share with you. I love this memory and will cherish it forever. I can't wait to do it again. :)

It's 2 a.m. I must be Lonely...

2009-10-30T01:50:00.004-05:00

...or something like that. I know the song says 3 a.m., and well, it is on the East Coast, so whatever. Somehow, after an insanely busy and full week of headaches, ear infections, lack of sleep, and crazy circumstances, I am exhausted yet cannot sleep. If this happens, I usually have a list going on in my head that needs to be written down or turned over to Him for dealing with and safe keeping; however, this has been done an still sleep eludes me. So here I sit. Knowing full well I will have difficulty functioning tomorrow, yet unable to do anything about it. (Sigh)

Instead of wallowing in my lack of sleep, I thought I might write down some of the things looming over me, some quite personal, others really "surfacey" but regardless the things that are being tossed around at any given moment in this wacky head of mine.

1. My job.
I wonder daily what's going to happen with this. What does this scenario look like? How does it impact me, Nathan, and my growing family? Will I be able to provide for my kids? These things scare me. And while I KNOW God's plan is already laid out and quite perfect for me, I often have a hard time connecting the know to what I BELIEVE. Which is, of course, that He will indeed provide in one way or another - be it a new job, or a better job, or no job and a better one for Nathan. These are times when I have to rely on my past experience and allow Him to show me all the ways He's never let me down before and carried me through when I didn't think there was a way. I can list thousands of times, so why is this one hard? I guess because it's still looming like gloom and doom over my head. I worry about too much and let go of too little. But I am working on it. Daily.

2. My little BT2.
While I realize the time I had on my hands was so very different when I was pregnant with Aiden, I feel badly about the time I'm already not spending with this little one inside me now. I recall feeling Aiden move at 15 weeks quite vividly, and I did feel BT2 at 16 weeks, but haven't been diligent about spending more time doing that lately. I can't feel badly about this, I realize, but I often do, despite the fact I can't control how much or how little this little one moves. I know good and well that come ten weeks from now I'll be up to my ears with kicks and hiccups. Just the now is hard sometimes....worrying if everything is okay in there. Trusting it is, but still worrying it might not be. I worry about how I will handle two under two and how it will impact my relationships - with Aiden, with Nathan, with friends. And honestly, sometimes the fear of what is to come overwhelms me and makes me feel as though I will only fail. I fear I reallly don't have what it takes to do this. Yes, THOUSANDS of other parents have done just what I'm doing - some really terribly, others quite amazingly. Why I can't trust I can do it too at any given point in my day is beyond me, but I just do. Only a few more days until we find out what this little gummy bear is going to be and how whatever it is will change our lives forever. What I have to keep reminding myself is something I read this week that impacted my thought process and stopped me in my tracks of self-pity. THIS IS ONLY A MOMENT, IT IS NOT MY LIFE. Yes, for thousands of moments I will very will be at my Whit's End, but those moments will only be fleeting in comparison to the millions of others that will be filled with joy, laughter, love, community, bonding, and so many other positive pieces that make up LIFE. So, letting this moment pass...

3. My body.
And the fear of never getting it back again. There. I said it. And I'll leave it at that. I think there's enough to be read into this that doesn't need to be stated and that little bit says it all.

4. Organizing my/our life.
Yes, I'm a perfectionist. Yes, I am a semi-neat freak. Yes, I have some OCD behaviors when it comes to organization. I am admitting all this because sometimes the fact that I have to let go of this part of my life is terrifying and horribly difficult. I think how hard it is with one child to keep the house and closets in order, and fear my house will be a war zone with two. This fear, I have to let go. It very well may be a war zone, but I'll be darned if it isn't one bound up in love. Here's hoping I can let this part go sometimes. Not all the time, but when I need to. How are we all going to make it (sanely) inside the house? Will we get our space finished out before the baby comes? I pray the finances allow for this as it will provide the space to "get away" within the same place while also providing a play space and classified war zone if needed. Praying hard for this.

I really like even numbers. I was going to do five things, but I like four. So I'm stopping at four even though there are at least ten I could list. I think I've captured enough, probably far too much for some. There are hundreds of tiny things like ...When will we have time to decorate for Christmas? When will I do my Christmas shopping? What do I even get for everyone? How can I do more to give to others during my week? How's Aiden going to adjust to life with another person in his world? Will I get a four poster bed at some point in my life? Will my knee ever feel good enough to let me run more than five miles again?

These are the things (I guess) that you could say keep me up at night. While they truly don't and I let them go, they do often pop up at random times and if I were a panic-attack driven person, I might just be insane by now. So thank the Lord for that. Now, I thank Him for taking these things (each and every one despite how big and significant or small and meaningless) from me and running them for me. Goodness knows I can't do it. I just have to believe that, right? :)

So here's hoping I'm off on my way to dream land...missing my best friend, anticipating his arrival in a few days, and dreaming I was in this place...right now.

October in Review

2009-10-22T16:37:00.007-05:00

October started off feeling as though it wouldn't be full of much, and while it has been relatively low key, we have somehow managed to weave our way within 8 days of it's end and I realize how quickly it's gone. Football games, Fall Break (for Aiden AND for us!), and field trips to the farm and here we are...only a week away from Halloween. Although, by the time I finish this and get it posted, it'll probably be closer to Halloween than I think.

We headed to Knoxville for the UT vs. Auburn game a few weeks ago, which was so fun! Wish we could get to more games as they really are a great time and bring back (and create) all kinds of fun memories. You can read about our trip here.

The following week, my parents had fall break from school, and had offered to keep Aiden so we could get some much needed rest. We've battled our share of sickness this month and needed some rest for sure! Plus, mommy-to-be here doesn't get much as it is with the night wakings and potty breaks. Fun! He had so much fun...you can see pictures here. He just loves to play and keeps them on their toes for sure! They spend the following few days recovering from the whirlwind that is Aiden, but oh what a fun one he is. Nathan and I had a great time eating out, keeping our own schedule, sleeping in, and doing lots of things we've had on our "todo" list that keep getting pushed to the following week in hopes they'll one day get done. So we at least got a dent started in that list! :) We picked up the boy on Sunday and had a great rest of the week with him, though he got sick, yes, again, the next week. Boo. More long nights and even longer days!

Luckily, due to all the rain we've had this month, his field trip to the farm across the street got rescheduled to a day when he could go (the other one was scheduled when he was on fall break). So, Wednesday afternoon we packed up and went to the farm and played with the hay, goats, chickens, ducks, and took a fun hayride through the farm and cows, who loved playing with the pumpkins. Check this place out! I have yet to carve ours and they sit staring at me as though I can do something about it! Oh well. Aiden loved the farm and showed his true "boy" nature by eating some dirt and a few dried corn kernels. The boy makes me laugh. Some of his little classmates were there and he loves people, so he had fun just people watching. What's funny to me is how different this trip was compared to our last trip there. Night and day. Of course, he was three months old. It was so neat to see his progression as he explored the farm. And how lucky we are to have such a fun treat right across the street from our neighborhood. Oh the joys of living in the country (kind of).

Overall, a fun month, and Halloween is right around the corner with lots of fun parties and activities to boot. Should be a scary good time! And November will be here Sunday! YIKES!
Nathan after a night of no sleep...needed whipped cream to make the coffee go down and to calm his wild mane.
The boy loves to clean, what can I say?
This picture just made me laugh. He literally wanted the whole thing in his mouth at one time.

Posing for the camera...or for Dad.

Petting the goats. Trying to get a rare picture with Mom.

Graham, a little boy from his class, eating an old dried up corn on the cob. Did not want to be carried, wanted to walk, but the mud was insane.

Playing in the tractor Walking home with Dad. Great day!

Sickness Times Three

2009-10-14T11:44:00.002-05:00

Why is it when Mom is sick the world doesn't stop to help her, yet she must sojourn on and continue to help others? THIS is the part of the job description that no one really ever truly appreciates. I find myself in this odd place in life of dealing with sickness often now that I'm in Mommy-land after spending most of my adulthood hardly ever being sick...at least the times I was really, truly sick were very few and far between. And now, between school, and playgroups, and eating dirt, my little dude brings home all the bugs you can imagine. While my 30-year old immune system could handle it just fine, the 30-year old pregnant immune system doesn't have much defense against such predators as nursery school aged slobbery germs. How do you deny your sweet little boy the joy of giving Mommy kisses when you know good and well those kisses are going to get you ill? You don't. So you get sick. And you deal with it.

Luckily, I have this amazing partner named Nathan who is Superman in times of trouble and can somehow manage work, Aiden, and taking care of sick me when I'm at the worst of it and simply can't move. Somehow I think it's God's way of showing these men (just a few times a year) how much we mom's do and how much they should appreciate us for doing it 365 days a year. I had the cold bug once already, then had the flu shot, then Aiden and Nate got it, and then lucky me got it again...only it felt worse and came with some more surprises. I don't like surprises when I'm sick, at least in terms of more sickness....surprise me with saltine crackers when I don't ask, COOL! but surprise me with sudden and necessary prayers to the porcelain throne when I don't ask, NOT COOL!

As a child, we get so used to our mom's always being there to care for us when we're sick. Then we go off to college and realize she's not there anymore. We actually have to make ourselves soup if we want it, and have to make ourselves drink water and Sprite, and juice since we need it. Often we don't and we just push through...laying in bed. But it sure does make you realize what you had when you were a kid (and TOTALLY took for granted). And then you become a married adult, who has to take care of your spouse when they fall ill...and most of this makes you feel special and useful, but then you get sick and often, when the shoe is on the other foot, the same "care" you gave to them is just slightly less "caring" when they are the giver. Not by intention, in most cases at least, but mostly by design of our male and female nature. Again, you appreciate the incessant and diligent care your mother gave you all the more. And then, you have kids, and realize that when you get sick, it does not stop their need to be cared for, fed, loved on, played with, walked, talked to, bathed, put to bed, etc...and the list goes on...not to mention the house, which can become disasterous in such a short time without wonder woman to pick up the pieces. All of this, of course is an exaggeration, but simply meant to say that never in my life, did I think when I got to this point, I'd be the Mom...and here I am...doing it all and making it work. NOT without the help of my amazing Nathan of course, as I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning if it wasn't for him helping me as much as he is able....but it just makes you appreciate all you do for them every day to a whole new level.

So, even though my sweet boys were the ones who got me sick....again, I am so grateful for their help, their love, and their care for me even when they don't feel good. Now, if I can just convince Aiden that when we get sick, we rest all day and watch movies, and take naps, and relax to feel better. That silly child runs at 98% of his usual 110% even when he's sick. How in the world he does it, I will never really know, I just know it wears me out. But the joy that comes from knowing he's cared for and loved all the more for it makes it all worth it in the end. That, and one day, he'll be the one doing the caring! Ha! :)

T's, Snow, and Football

2009-10-07T12:36:00.021-05:00

This week was a complete whirlwind and I'll admit, a little sad after coming down from a two weekend birthday "high," but I'm dealing with it. Want to know how? By making it last. Of course. Friday night we had tickets to go see The Plain White T's and Snow Patrol with our neighbors, Sam and Karen - who is also expecting and due in just a few weeks! After some good Mexican, we headed to see the two alt rockers at the Ryman, which, if you haven't been, is not only historic, but a super venue to be at for just about any show. Good times with great friends. It was hard to get a ton of pics, but I snagged a couple:

Then, believe it or not, as soon as the show as over, we got back home, changed clothes and got in the car for a quick trip to Knoxville. My parents got some tickets to the Tennessee vs. Auburn game at Neyland Stadium Saturday night, so we opted to go under the cover of night to hopefully keep little dude safe and sound asleep...three hours with no tears vs. a potentially ear-drum damaging three hours seems like a no-brainer. Though we we wiped out and exhausted, it was fun driving at random hours of the night. I think we got in to town about 3:30 am CT (or 4:30 am ET - local - which meant Little Dude would be waking in about four hours...yikes!). Luckily we'd called in the troops to have Mimi and Pops watch out for him while we slept! We had a fun and relaxing day of naps, football, a solid lunch, and then headed off to the game. Oh, but I almost forgot, the FIRST thing Aiden did when he got back from breakfast with Mimi and Pops was pull out the BROOM. I mean, this kid is SOOOO our kid!! What? The broom. Cracked me up. But he was in heaven.

Nate and I headed off to the game and found a great (and free!) parking spot about 20 blocks from the stadium...and boy, did we get our HILL workout in on the way! Crazy, crazy Tennessee hills abound on this campus. We had great seats in the corner of the End Zone and were surrounded by some baffled Tennessee fans and some rowdy Auburn ones. It was great. After a few Coke Zeros (they had it on tap!!!), Peanuts, and Peanut M&M's, we were through the fourth quarter and winning against the Vols! All in all a great game. WAAAAAAR Eagle!

A picture before we left for the game, then at the game, then during the game...
I told Nathan he kind of looks "toasted" in this picture...which he flubbed on purpose. Silly.

So another late night, but another relaxing day ahead, which is always the great thing about Sundays. Mom made some scones for breakfast, then we grilled out for a late lunch before more naps and getting ready to head back. We opted to go for the "under cover of night" option again especially since it was raining. Ick. The whole day. But despite the rain, we had so much fun playing with our fun bundle of joy...who can do nothing but bring smiles to our faces. He was literally laughing at himself he was so thrilled with how happy he made us! Now, that is happiness. I love him tons and he makes my world complete.

This picture with the basket on his head...I have about 100 of me doing this very same thing when I was little. His little open mouth face cracks me up.

Here he was chasing Pops with his camera...he wanted to get his hands on that thing so bad!!

He's always eating, too...something he does so well!

He and I were playing "catch me" all over the house...he would run and I would chase him down and he was just LAUGHING! And totally unstoppable. So funny.

And my reward was ALWAYS big, slobbery kisses! Love those, too.

Playing "ride little horsy" with Mimi. With more laughs. Always laughing. Fun day. Fun trip. One for the books.

Real Birthday Weekend...30 Gifts.

2009-09-27T10:46:00.007-05:00

Today is the day I turned 30. I remember being 7 and counting on the calendar to the year that I would be 30, and realized it was 2009. To me, at 7, that seemed countless years and thousands of memories away. And while, in some senses, it was, in others it arrived all too quickly. What I was struck with the most as the days ramped up (or down, depending on your point of view) to today, is how much we (the collective "we") look forward to our 20's - college, drinking, mindless fun, figuring out life, enjoying every minute of it, marriage, kids, and so on - and how much we dread at least the thought of our 30's - age, wrinkles, sagging, getting fat, not having any fun anymore, kids, bills, and so on. And while it is true that we will face some of those things in our 30's, what I realize more and more is that so much of life is perspective and more of how you feel and not so much what number coincides with your current position. So while I won't say I was eager to reach today and the milestone that it is, I definitely was not hopeless, but rather hopeful as I look forward to what this year and the 10 that follow have to bring with it. A baby, for one, which creates more hope than I could even care to recount. And the fact that I don't feel very 30, and hopefully don't look very 30, counts for something, at least in my mind!

(a sweet picture of two of my favorite things and most precious gifts)

So enough of that stuff. Today was just a typical day...and brought with it a morning full of rain that had been hanging around us for the past 20 days or so without fail. Luckily, I think today was the day the rain broke and it appears all things are sunny for the next week at least, if not longer. To me, this was Gift #1. I made my boys pancakes for breakfast, blueberry, to be precise, mostly because I like to hear Aiden say his rendition of the word blueberry. It's too cute. The morning with my boys was Gift #2. We'd planned to go out for lunch, but the rain was terrential at this point and Nathan still had brithday errands to run, so Aiden and I napped and had some good times playing and reading. Getting to love on my boy and rock him extra long to sleep was Gift #3. We spent a majority of the day seeking out a babysitter because ours had to go out of town at the last minute, so there was about an hour or two when we thought the night might not happen the way Big Daddy Nate had planned, but finally, at the last minute, a neighbor sitter pulled through and we were breathing a sigh of relief. Babysitters in general, but most especially on birthday days is Gift #4. After naptime Aiden and Nate "presented" me with their gifts...so add them up Gifts #5 -10...but the best part was getting the HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE. You can make this Gifts #10-20 since it's been on my "list of things to do before I turn 30" list for several years and I actually get to do it. October 10, I'll be flying high with my hubs over Nashville sipping on a Mimosa and enjoying the beautiful landscape where we live. I am beyond thrilled at this point. Nathan got us a driver for the evening, so after my delivered dinner (Gift #21) the driver arrived as Gift #22 to wisk us off for dessert...at Dairy Queen, my childhood favorite place for ice cream. He surprised me with not only Dairy Queen (Gift #23) but with four of my favorite people (Gift #22) and a cake, not just ice cream. Woo Hoo! So we dove in and devoured the cake. Yumm-y! And the driver was off to wisk us away to Gift #23, a visit to The Patterson House for drinks and more gifts! I was gifted a night of free babysitting (Gift #24), earrings and a ring (#25 & 26), a cookbook (Gift #27) because I LOVE cookbooks!, and an amazing book (Gift #28) of memories and sweet words of love and devotion from friends and family, which could easily suffice for hundreds of gifts, as it meant the world to me. Off to the car and back home. What a ride and what a special day. Gift #29 was spending the wonderful ride home with my hubby, who took a lot of time and effort to make me feel special and remembered on my big 30th birthday. Gift #30 is the actual act of turning 30. How in the world it happened, I'm not sure I'll ever know, but the fact that it is here is a true and special gift. From what I'm told, my 30's will be so much more amazing than my 20's so I look forward to the gift they will be and bring in the next decade.

And last but not least, THANK YOU Nathan, for making me feel special, loved, precious, honored, beautiful, and yours...it is a gift to share this life with you by my side. You are the best friend in the world.

Me preparing to DEVOUR some ice cream cake

Me and my favorite Dude on the planet

The fun table of peeps at The Patterson House

The girls toasting our next 30 years!

My Super Un-birthday Birthday Weekend

2009-09-21T21:55:00.003-05:00

Even though this week is the week before I turn the big (and inevitable) 3-0, my parents decided to come to Franklin this weekend because there was a race in our neighborhood and thought it would be fun for the family to do it on my unbirthday birthday. They arrived Friday night after Aiden was asleep and we stayed up talking and catching up on the past few weeks Since they had just kept Aiden while Nate took me to the beach for my really early birthday, we were close to caught up! And of course, Mom made me a phenomenal cake, so since it was there and in living color calling out my name, we had to partake! :) It was, of course, wonderful! And with a few scoops of Blue Bell (the all natural version without HFCS) it was divine!

See? Cake. Awesome.

The next morning we were off to the race, in the rain...which has been here nonstop for nearly two weeks. And despite my aversion to the rain, especially after such a time, I was grateful to run in it because 1) it's so much fun and 2) it definitely helped to squelch some of the unbearable humidity. So at 7:30 a.m., we were off and running. Pops pushed Aiden so Nathan could run with me (sweet hubby) and Mom pushed herself! :) I wish I would have taken my camera because the images I captured in my memory bank are priceless. He was just hanging out in the jogger with his legs covered by a shirt Dad had been smart enough to bring along and he was drenched from head to toe by the end of the race...drenched, but happy as a clam! We all finished in good time and amazingly enough me, Dad (and Aiden), and Mom all won our age group award! So fun!! Now I was really regretting not having my camera!! Poor Nathan is in such a stacked category for the 30 - 35 males, but is determined to get his time down (with the help of Coach K! Ha!).

My lovely age group award...a nice stainless steel water bottle.

The rest of the day was relaxed but fun...went to Costco, had snacks there, then grabbed an awesome lunch at Bread and Co (my favorite) and then headed back for a nice afternoon nap in the rain! The four of us adults all went out to dinner at Bricktops and had the most amazing meals followed by homemade donuts...I cannot describe how perfect these were! A-mazing!

What a great unbirthday birthday!

Sunday we did our usual Panera stop before Mimi and Pops headed on their way back home. Sad to see them go, but what a fun and special weekend all around. I am so very blessed to have family who loves and cares for me so deeply and have cherished every moment God has allowed me to spend with them as He's loaned me to them (and now to Nathan) for this short time we have on Earth. I am overwhelmed by their love, joy, and compassion over me and only know that our Father's is that much greater still. It is truly a great day!

Aiden's First Day

2009-09-15T16:26:00.006-05:00

Well, not officially, but kind of his first day. The "first" day was actually just a Mommy and Me day that lasted all of an hour and within that hour, someone (read, girl that is too old and too big to be in the class) had shoved Aiden with two hands full force and I watched my little dude tumble backwards as his bottom and his head both nearly bounced twice on the ground. On the verge of losing it (I didn't), I watched as Nathan console him, and watched as the mom of this child did nothing...not apologize to us, not have her child apologize, and not even remotely look remorseful. It was then I caught myself holding back tears and the sudden urge to punch the mom in the face.

You will all be happy to know I did not.

Anyway, that was just a preview day and after a long chat with the director of the program, I was assured the "too big child" had been moved to the class for the older nursery kiddos. Whew! I felt relieved, though still had my doubts. However, we agreed to give this a try in order to help Aiden adjust to being around other children in advance of his new sibling in the spring. We figured it wouldn't be so tragic to his little world if he was already used to sharing, playing, being smaller, being bigger, etc...just learning the interactions of others. Otherwise, I feared in having him at home all the time that having another little person enter his world would just be terribly traumatic. It may not be, and we're willing to risk it if the school thing doesn't work out. So, for us, it's just trial and error.

So, back to his first day. He looked so cute in his little Polo short-alls and we were very sad to drop him off, but he has some very loving teachers who adore him and recognize his little "isms" and unique and joyful nature. His teachers are sensitive to the fact that he was bullied and as difficult as it is to drop him off, I trust he is being loved on and learning as well as enjoying the company of others who will one day be friends of his. Luckily, many of the kids in his small class live in our neighborhood, so it makes for easy play dates and will make the pool so much fun next year! As you can imagine, as we parted ways, I thought there would be tears and there were, but from me, not him....this made me grateful he felt comfortable enough to jump right in and play despite how heart-wrenching it was for me to leave him. He had a great day...apparently, but was ready to come home. When he saw me he just cried and was so ready for me to get him. I assume this was due to being thrust into a new environment with new people, playing his heart out, skipping his morning nap, and being utterly worn out. Poor little dude came home and slept for three hours without a peep!

We'll see how the next few weeks go, but we did opt to not let him take naps there, but instead to come home and have a great solid afternoon nap. I think this will be the best of both worlds...but again, all trial and error for us as we tread into these unknown waters. My little man is growing up so fast, and yet he is still so small. The saddest part of all is that he will not remember these precious times I have with him....as they are the most dear to my heart before he is exposed to and recognizes the sin and danger in this human world.

Labor Day Memories

2009-09-09T12:06:00.005-05:00

Labor Day came and went like a whirlwind this year...a good one, that is. My mom and dad had penciled in Aiden for a visit that weekend since they would have a long weekend with the school holiday. Nathan and I were happy to oblige the help and decided to use the "freedom" for a quick trip down to the beach. We dropped of Aiden on Thursday night, and enjoyed a solid traditional Cracker Barrel meal, told our parents of the impending arrival to our family in March, and exchanged instructions on how to care for our sweet 14-month old while we were apart. The exchange went well and off he went for a weekend of spoiling at Mimi and Pop-Pops...oh the stories he would have if he could talk!

Nathan and I headed back and got ourselves packed up and ready for Rosemary, our favorite little spot of ocean along the Florida panhandle and hit the road at daylight Friday morning, Starbucks in hand. We made a few stops along the way, but mostly hauled tail to make it to the beach so we could partake in a nice long walk before sunset, one of the best parts about the panhandle this time of the year. We made it successfully with no tickets despite all the "po-po" on the road for the Labor Day speeders.

Ahhh....three relaxing days of reading on the beach, listening to the sound of the ocean waves breaking at our feet, eating excellent food day and night, and enjoying the company of one another...and a few nice mornings of sleeping in! It always goes by too quickly, time at the beach. No matter if I stay for a weekend or a month, I think it would always pass by too quickly and I would find myself making reasons to stay just "one more day." I doubt this will ever change for me as I have, and always hope to be, a beach bunny at my core.

We packed it up Monday - the only rainy day and THANK GOODNESS - or I would have never left! - and headed out, apparently along with three million other people en route to Atlanta and then to Knoxville to pick up our little dude. It's amazing how three days away can give you a new lease on life, a new appreciation for all the little things, a new perspective on problems and issues, and a resilience that you can't find in the day-to-day (at least most of the time). I appreciate this about a few nights away, and hope to always be able to have a few nights to just dream, wish, hope, pray, think, give, and love...

Tuesday morning we were home sweet home and despite how good it feels to go away, it always feels great to come back home. Even after two years (wow!) our house still has that "new home" scent when we come back to it. I love that scent. I wish it never went away, though the things that replace it are memories, I suppose, of living, loving, enjoying, what happened next, and everything that happens in between. Thank you to Mimi and Pop-pop for the gift you gave us in being away. We are grateful Aiden has a place to play and be loved while we have the chance to play and be loved.

There is nothing finer than these two things joining me in my chair...with this to my side!

Rosemary by day...and night.

Sad to go. But happy to have made the trip.

Aiden Has a Secret

2009-09-06T14:39:00.001-05:00

Little Aiden is always bound to have something up his sleeve and since he's always around us, he pretty much has knowledge of lots of little (and some big) secrets that get tossed around our household by us and those who pass through. I always wonder what he would do if he really did understand all that was being said and really did have all the knowledge he could have by just being around the right people at the right time...oh my, wouldn't that be the day!

But Aiden has a secret that he wanted me to share since he can't email quite yet. I mean, we're working on it, but right now, accomplishing "hello" and "goodbye" in one scenario seems challenging enough. So, as I am his "voice," I shant tarry too long on his message.

Yes, yes, it's true. No, your eyes are not fooling you. Surprise of all surprises, Aiden is going to be a BIG BROTHER! Baby Tabler Number Two is on his or her way into our world and is planning to make a debut is March 2010. We wanted to wait until we spilled the beans to our families (hence his t-shirt) before we made the announcement to the "world." After hearing for nearly two years we would not even be able to have children (at least through natural methods), it is more than a miracle to be blessed with another child on top of the one incredibly healthy, beautiful, and amazingly amazing baby boy we already have in our lives.

I'll post the picture of our little "gummy bear" after we have more pictures - our next visit to the doctor is September 14. I am squeaking through my first trimester and so far feel pretty great. It's hard to believe I'm pregnant most of the time...I kind of just pinch myself to remember. We are shocked, but are excited to share the news of our next bundle of joy who'll join us in the spring...shortly before Aiden turns two. We will have TWO under TWO...this just sounds scary to me, but hopefully we're in the "game" enough to remember what we did with round one to do okay with round two!

I don't think any of us, including Aiden, are quite sure what to expect as this new addition joins our little family. Thank you in advance for your prayers as we journey through the next 28 weeks to a healthy delivery.

Where Did August Go?

2009-09-03T14:11:00.002-05:00

As I sit here, I realize the last time I wrote was at the beginning of August...apparently not much was going on, but here I sit, three weeks later, and August is gone. Though we didn't travel a lot in August, we had our fair share of things going on, just not in the most "expected" ways.

We dealt with the loss of our summer Nanny, Emily, who was so great and who really loved Aiden so so much. They had a great summer together and lots of great memories at the pool and in the neighborhood. Lucky for us, she's teaching right around the corner and living in the neighborhood, so she's already been able to babysit...which is great to have.

We faced the project of finding a new Nanny, which we thought we did in mid-July, but due to a series of complications, things changed with her ability to help us. We were devastated more so because we knew how perfect of a find she was and how super she would be with Aiden, but also because she was sick...and we don't like for anyone to be sick. While we went on the search for a new Nanny, she found out her treatments were going to be less invasive than the previous time, therefore allowing her to help us on a part-time basis! Hooray!! So, Liz started with us the week of August 24, and Aiden took right to her. HE LOVES HER! They have a great time together and she loves on him all day...which as a Mom that has to work, makes you feel GREAT that someone is loving on your sweet boy all day. Liz is amazing.

We dealt with the loss of a dear and precious friend, Doctor Don Hines. This man was essentially like a second dad to Nathan, in fact, he and his wife both refer to he and I as their "adpoted son and daughter" when introducing us to anyone. Without hesitation, we are their adopted kids. We went to Birmingham in the middle of the month to visit with him at the hospital he was being treated at. He was sent home with Hospice care the following weekend and passed away just two weeks after. To be able to visit with Doc and Candace two weeks before he passed in Birmingham was absolutely priceless. Though not the most ideal of circumstances, it was a great day for us to spend telling stories, hearing about life, and getting what we thought to be our last hugs before he headed to be with our Father. Nathan and I went to the funeral last weekend in Troy while Aiden stayed here with Emily. The funeral was that of a true cowboy. He had this phrase, "the cowboy way" that defined his life and his work ethic. He was an amazing man who was loved by many and who impacted more than I can count. To see the love shown and the joy displayed by those who came to say goodbye was something I will never be able to put into words, but am so grateful to have been able to see in person. I will not soon forget it.

You can read a bit about him here: http://business.troy.edu/TroyCampus/News/NewsDetail.aspx?NewsID=200300066

Mix all that in with a flair of family drama and you all of a sudden have one full month. So, as August closes, and September begins, and as we move from the heat of summer to the cool of fall, I begin the countdown to 3-0. Yes, 30. In a mere 23 days, I will no longer be "living free in my 20's." I have no doubt this year will carry with it some great things and exciting changes...and I look forward with anxious anticipation to what those are.

Fear...and Fear Itself

2009-08-07T09:40:00.003-05:00

Not much has been going on at our household the past few weeks, which is some ways has been kind of nice. In other ways, I think it only exists as the calm before the storm of life is inevitably going to kick up again. What I've been struck with most recently is why it is that we fear the unknown or just fear in general whether "it" be known or not. And even though I have this amazing track record with God, who's shown me time and time again that my fear is unnecessary because He's got me and there is no fear in Him....I still find msyelf there sometimes. I would say with my own life fear tends to manifest itself more in the form of "worry" rather than actual fear of __________ (fill in the blank), but neither of these are good to carry around and should be squelched as quickly as possible because they only tend to grow, not dissipate, over time. And as they grow, it lessens our ability to remember the times when God brought us out of fear and into light as we move through change, tough times, and hardship.

So, here I find myself in a place where I fear, not necessarily anything in particular other than just what lies ahead and how in the world it's all going to shake out. To overcome it, and remind myself how faithful God has been, how many times He's proven himself to me, and how little I have to actually fear, I took the time to write out what it is I fear, or what I worry about most. It was a much longer list than I suspected. Either that, or most of my fear boiled down to only a few simple core things. Isn't that the way it is? Though all of our fears tend to look different on the outside, most all of the little fears boil down to a few simple core things when we really take the time to sit down and rationalize them. After I did that, I went back and wrote down all the times God has brought me through a time of unknown, a time of hardship, and all the places and times when He has proven most faithful. This list was long, like way more than twice the length of my fear list. This simple fact alone should tell me I have nothing to fear but fear itself. Okay, that is cliched, but really...shouldn't that be enough to remind me of all the times He's proven me wrong and come through when I thought there was no hope? That question begs another. If indeed He has come through time and time again, why do we still let fear creep in during those uncertain times?

While I can't indefinately answer that question, I do think it has to do with our mistrust of His goodness to us. That this time our good luck could be up. That we've worn out our welcome. Finally asked too much of him, so much so that he is revoking his grace. Oh, the list could go on. But the reality is, if you go back and look at your life again, you'll see he's never let you down. Even in the times when it looked like he did in the moment, the outcome was so much more than you could have ever expected it would be. The same goes for all of history, just check it, it's in the Bible...time after time of his faithfulness overcoming fear. So as I work through this fear and finger by finger unleash the hold I think I have on it, I realize my best interest is what he has in mind. What is the worst that could happen? At the end of the day I still have my amazing family, a life full of love, and something better on the other side. It's just the waiting part that's tough. But, if I sit back and relax, remember how many times he's shown up for me and how awesome the outcome has been, all that can happen is experience sheer and utter freedom. How can I be afraid of that?

So, fear and worry, get on on the street. No room for you here. Go find someone else to haunt and teach them how to throw you out too. It's about all you're good for anyway.

Hot-lanta

2009-07-29T13:34:00.004-05:00

Apparently Mom and Dad didn't get enough of an Aiden fix over his birthday weekend, as they called us the week after and said they were ready for a weekend for him to come play again before they started back to school in August. So, needless to say, after a birthday weekend that WIPED US OUT, we were more than happy to oblige their request and soak up some much needed rest in advance of the coming school year. We were planning to spend the weekend at our house, but at the last minute decided to head down to Atlanta to hang out with some friends for some good old-fashioned F-U-N!

So, we dropped Aiden off Friday morning then completed the rest of our trek down to the ATL. We spent the afternoon in the Virginia Highlands at Rabun's new (but old) condo while Nate caught up on some work, then went down to Neighbor's for a quick snack before watching some Tour de France and getting ready for dinner. For dinner, we headed to Murphy's for some good wine and great food. We all got different plates so we could have a little of this and a little of that and enjoyed some great conversation. Walked back and crashed hard....it'd been a long day!

Saturday morning Nate and I got up early and went for a run around the area. It was fun, but cars in ATL do NOT like runners on their roads, so we were stuck on the terrible sidewalks meandering around various types (and smells) of people. Interesting, but hey, we did it. We picked up Rabun and headed to Belly for morning coffee and chat. Good place. A type of General Store if you will. Lots of candy. Fun and laid back environment. Wanted to bury my hands in the apothecary jars full of candy. After getting cleaned up, we were off to brunch at Rosebud, which was amazing. Incredible food and nice, urban feel.

Time for girl things. Drove up to Perimeter Mall for some time with Meghan that afternoon while the boys did their thing. After getting Meghan some much needed gas at Costco (she as litterally an E when she picked me up), we hopped in for a quick Trader Joe's TWO BUCK CHUCK stop, then were off to get pedicures. The BEST pedicure I have had. Ever. Really. And it was also the cheapest. I couldn't believe how much detail and time they took and was pleasantly surprised at the entire experience. Awesome. Wish it was around my corner, too.

It was off to dinner, the dinner I'd been looking forward to since Thursday. PURE! All I can say about this place is WOW. I certainly wish they had one in my neck of the woods. I think Westhaven needs one for sure. This hot spot had a 2 hour wait at 7 pm. Yes, two hours at 7:00! While we debated leaving, one sip of these phenomenal margaritas changed all of our minds in an instant. We were seated in less than an hour, but only after being treated to people watching worth paying for. This dinner spot is like watching a real like episode (or two) of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, only they're all white. It was so funny to take in the people-watching affair and enjoy the environment followed by the great food. One night to remember, for sure!

Off to bed for an early trek home in the morning. We were on the road by 6:30 am (Central time) and when we got in stopped for a great Sunday Brunch at Puckett's...one I will be sure to revisit very soon. Excellent food as usual at this local joint. After being fully satisfied by a fun weekend and great food, we decided we deserved a nap, so we took the first nap (together) that we've probably taken since Aiden was born. And it was THREE HOURS LONG. Yes, three glorious hours of nap time. A-mazing. I won't soon forget that time. Dinner plans with Jamie and Kevin got us out of bed in time to get ready, then we enjoyed more great food and a nice challenging game of Uno where the women dominated. This scenario is typical, so don't get too excited. We just generally rock.

So, there it is, a nice couple's weekend away. Though we were desperate to see our boy the next day! Monday couldn't have come soon enough, but come it did...and there he was. We both swear he had grown since leaving him on Friday, but maybe we just missed him so much we dreamed it up. Love this little dude and enjoy him so much after a weekend refresher. I'm sure he had a blast with Mimi and PopPop. Oh, I wish he could tell me his stories, too! :) One day. Not too far off I imagine and that will be all too much a reality. The family is intact once more and here we go to finish out July. More than halfway done with 2009. What will the rest have in store for us? Who knows. But what I do know is that fun is not far from any of it.

My man and me at Pure.

Nate and Parker, and their matching JL belts. How cute!

My Megs and me on the porch at Pure. And her with Rabun and Park.

These two might be long lost brothers. Two crazy peas in a pod.

Posing at REI. Random, but true.

Happy times with the hubs. And Rabun giving us his meanest thumbs up.

Happy Birthday Aiden, oh, and Happy Anniversary to us.

2009-07-15T15:22:00.007-05:00

This week was really wild and crazy, which we knew it would be before it even began. After getting Aiden back from a weekend away with Mimi and Pops on Monday, work was nutso for both Nathan and I and we had company coming into town for the party beginning Wednesday. All the items for the party were pretty much complete, except for the cake, which masterful cake-decorator Mom had to handle. She arrived Wednesday and provided Nate and I some space to spend some time together for our anniversary, which we share with Aiden's birthday.

We exchanged gifts previously in the day, which is always fun...to see your thoughts and time spent ogling over gifts finally come through their expressions. Ironically enough, we both gave each other watches, guess that growing together thing really is true. I always enjoy seeing Nate's softer side come out when it comes to the heart he puts into his gifts. It shows he really does listen to all the random stuff I say, even if most of it is jibberish. To top it off we were able to spend the evening out together and enjoyed a great Mexican meal @ LaPaz for dinner (can't get enough Mexican food!).

Friday was spent preparing for the Saturday festivities, mostly decorating the cake, which took a long time...like 6 hours long! Thankfully, we had mom doing that part, while the rest of us played pass the baby with Aiden. It was adventurous, but we got it all done, thankfully! Jessica arrived that afternoon and she and Nate went downtown while I helped finish things up at the house and got ready for a little bit of rest before the par-doo!

The next morning was wild and crazy, too...a lot of drama insued while putting everything together for the festivities to begin at 11, the most interesting being I cut my finger open while working with some sprinkles (for the kids to decorate cupcakes) and passed out! So, that was fun and exciting. Luckily, the cut was deep, but stitches may or may not have made a difference, so I just taped it up and kept going. Thankfully we were able to still get everything done in time before the guests arrived. Whew! What a whirlwind.

To accompany our "safari" themed party, we had a "tiger belly" moonbounce, safari printed balloons on the fence posts, monkeys hanging in the trees, hula skirts on the tables, and safari printed placemats. It was so fun. We had a great layout of really good food...chicken salad, hummus, pita, a killer fruit and cheese platter, seven layer dip and guacomole, sweet dreams cookies, and of course, cake! A monkey cake to be exact! We had a cupcake decorating station for the kids, and that was their little take home party favor. They put them in brown boxes (think Sprinkles) and got an awesome sticker that said, "Thank you for making my first birthday so sweet! Aiden." They were really fun and cute take-aways.

It's really hard to believe a year has passed us by without a blip on the map it seems. I keep saying I don't know where it went, and I really don't. I can't quite figure out how we got from birth to this walking, talking, happy, laughing, giggling, exploring, creative, I could go on....little guy. He is the most special thing in the world and I cannot imagine loving anyone any more than I love him. I have the two best boys in the world in my life every single day and I love every minute of it. Though it makes me sad I now have a "toddler" as opposed to a "baby" Aiden, I am so excited to see him learn and grow and see life with new and fresh eyes. He is my sweet and special little one. Happy Birthday! Oh yeah, and happy four years, Baby!

Let them eat MONKEY cake! So fun...and of course, he LOVED it!

The tiger belly moonwalk and my curious little man.

The food....and the cookies! Yummy!

These dudes grew mustaches for the party. Why? Not sure exactly. Whatever.

Aiden's first bike! So fun...and he loves it!

July 4 Weekend

2009-07-05T15:22:00.004-05:00

This weekend, my mom and dad decided they needed to spend some QT with Aiden, so Thursday morning, Nate and I drove to Cookeville to meet them for a down home breakfast at the good 'ol Cracker Barrel. It was quite yummy and I think Aiden really enjoyed taking all the toys off the shelves about as much as he did eating breakfast.

After dropping him off, Nate and I headed back home to wrap up work and spend some time at the pool before heading to Green Hills for dinner with Brian at Sunset Grill. He's just moved here from Charlotte to work at Deloitte and it was fun showing him the Hillsboro Village area of Nashville, which is essentially around the corner from where he lives. Every time I head down there, I reminisce of my college days and how frequently we used to visit these spots within walking distance of the apartment. Always a fun time.

Friday was a short visit to the pool followed by lots of errands we'd had on our list. The day wrapped up with a visit to Arrington Vineyard for their wine tasting and jazz night along with Taylor, Rachel, and several other folks in need of good imbibement. Good times and a beautiful night!

Saturday was a bit more pool time and more errands before heading downtown to try and catch the Fireworks. On our way down, it began to POUR and they went ahead and started the fireworks early...so we saw them all from the car, then got stuck in about an hour of traffic. We'd planned to hit up Bricktops for our celebratory dinner, but missed the boat on that as they decided to close early! What?!? So, off to Jackson's for a late night meal. Back home and a plan to rest Sunday.

That resting thing didn't really happen as we remembered we needed to clean house and mow before we picked up the boy, so we did all that and then headed on our way to pick him up. We had dinner at Olive Garden and boy, do I love that bread and salad. I always forget that since I never go there. So good.

We enjoyed our time alone and getting to do a lot of errands and chores, while getting to pretend we're a young single couple without kids, but we missed our boy terribly. It's always such a joy to get him back, but know both he and I have had a great time on our own. It's nice to have a break every now and then, and catch up on the sleep we never get. :) The joys of this boy! I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Happy Fourth! Four years of marriage and a BIG ONE YEAR mark are right around the corner. Such a fun time of year for our little family!!

Daddy's glad to have his boy back!

Dropping him off at Cracker Barrel. Love those chairs! Love my boy!

Visit to North Carolina

2009-06-25T15:21:00.010-05:00

I think it's about time to get on the road again. Nathan, Aiden, and I headed to Charlotte for the weekend as I had a baby shower to attend for my friend Christy in Raleigh. We flew in Thursday evening and Aiden did super on the flight. He manages to make friends just about anywhere we travel. He's a great travel buddy and even though the flights often start out with nearly everyone giving us dirty looks for daring to bring a baby on the flight, by the time the flight is over, they've sincerely changed their minds about all children. Lucky for us, Aiden just has a way! :) We arrived safe and sound, got tucked in, and geared up for a long few days.

Friday we were off to Modern Salon & Spa, my little slice of heaven I always visit when in Charlotte, for my cut and color with the infamous Lyndsay, and Aiden's first little haircut! After he did his thing and played will all the toys on the desk, Lyndsay expertly trimmed his little locks. He looked like a little boy, which is what he is...I just mean, not so much a baby anymore. Well, needless to say, the travel and hair cut tuckered him out, so he took a nice little nap on Daddy's chest for the remainder of our visit at Modern. He won over most of the staff, if not all, and we all left feeling like a million bucks!

Next, it was off to visit Marye Pat, my former manager at Wachovia. She had a sweet little gift for Aiden and we got to see her beautiful new home. I miss working with her so much as we were like peanut butter and jelly and were able to pick up right where the other left off on just about everything. She is such a great manager and friend and will at least be a friend for life even if not my manager! We had a great time visiting and Aiden enjoyed seeing all the breakable things in her house and the tissue paper from his gift. Curious George, indeed!

He just looks like he did something wrong already!

Us posing with MPK.

Next it was back to the house for afternoon naps. Don't you miss those? It's one great thing about a mini-vacation. Naps. Then Nathan and I headed to Red Rocks for a late dinner after putting Aiden to bed. I seriously love Red Rocks. They have the best appetizer, the queso-spinach dip served hot in a fresh bread bowl with tons of tri-colored salty chips. It's the perfect beginning to any meal, and most often is my entire meal. In addition, they are one of the few places in Charlotte that carries and organic chicken meal. This meal, we could sing praises over. Organic Bar-B-Que chicken, wild rice, and fresh steamed veggies. And if you're feeling like you'd rather be "bad" than good, you can swap the rice for some killer skinny fries. To top every meal off, their dessert tray is out of this world, and though we planned to save room, we rarely do, so we didn't imbibe, but did find ourselves lusting over the key lime pie and oreo cheesecake. Another day, another diet. Not today.

Saturday we had planned all head to Raleigh so I could attend Christy's baby shower and the boys could hang out with Nathan's grandparents who live in Cary, but work ended up getting in the way of our travel plans and I couldn't find a ride at the last minute, so we found ourselves in Charlotte for that day as well. I was really disappointed in not being able to be a part of her special day, especially since we live far apart, but plan to go and visit shortly after the birth to help her and the baby out. That might even be more fun! The best part about being in Charlotte is the super duper YMCA system they have. I do miss this. There was one in the building I worked in downtown that I frequented daily either for lunch or dinner and it was always a grand experience. Since the Tabler's live right down the street from the Harris YMCA, I got to go to a morning Spin class and get my workout on. There is pretty much one every hour on the hour at this Y on Saturday mornings, so it makes it hard to come up with an excuse NOT to go. And boy, am I glad I went. Before class, we were chatting outside the room and were discussing clips vs. tennis shoes on the bike. I was telling how I'd not yet "thrown down" on a pair of cycle shoes since I haven't joined the Y in TN and was thinking about getting a bike for the house. "When I do that, I'll get shoes," I spouted. So fast forward to the end of class and one of the folks who'd been chatting (a 70+ year old gentleman) came running out of the Y after me as I was getting my purse out of the trunk. As much as I should have been a little frightened, I wasn't. Odd.

But he just said, "I promise I'm not trying to hit on you or anything, I want to buy you a pair of shoes."

I said, "What?! What do you mean?"

"I just want you to have some of those shoes. They are awesome. So, go to ProCycle sometime today and there will be money waiting for you to get a pair. Do you know where that is?"
So I named the street and he confirmed...and I said, "But you don't even know my name."

"I don't need to," he replied, "I'll just tell them a cute girl with brunette hair will come in to pick them up. And if you don't go, the money will just sit there."

Shocked, stunned, and not sure what to do, I got in my car and proceeded home still curious about what had just happened. I told Nathan and his family and they all thought it was crazy as well, but amazed at what someone was willing to do. To make my long story short, I called a few places around town only to find that he had indeed come into the store near our old condo and put a gift card at the front desk for me to buy a pair of shoes. Anna Jane went with me and we picked them out, clips and all. It cost me $10 to get a really nice pair of shoes. Pretty stinking cool. The funny part is the store wasn't called ProCycle, it was called Bike Source, but back in the day they had a sign on their door that read that way, so the person who sole me the shoes said, "Wow, that guy must be old to remember that!"

We spent the rest of the day with Nathan's family and enjoyed a quick trip to the mall and by our favorite Harris Teeter in the world, Morrocroft. It's like the mother ship of all Harris Teeters. Love that place and can't wait till the one is open in Westhaven. I see it every time I leave the neighborhood and get more and more excited to see those florescent lights aglow.

Since his family cannot come to Aiden's birthday party in July, they had a few gifts for him and he really enjoyed tearing the paper off the packages...I am pretty sure more than any gift that was inside! :) Oh the joy of being One.

Sunday it was off to Elevation Church for the early service, then to lunch at Acropolis, another of my Charlotte favorites. After another quick nap, it was tails down to the airport for the longest lines I have ever seen. Literally out the door. All the doors. And the security lines were completely insane and not even possible to navigate in the short time we had to board. Lucky for us, we have a super cute kid and even though our flight didn't have First Class, we got pushed just a little closer to the front, allowing us to make it just in time! Afater another great flight home, and a proposal to join a nice pilot on a trip to Paris, we arrived safe and sound in Nashville and had a super night's rest in our own comfy beds. Great trip, but man, were we tired. I have a feeling a long week awaits us.

Aiden with his Grandma CeCe

And riding on the rocking horse...not so sure about this thing.

So we tried again. Still not too sure.

First Father's Day

2009-06-22T16:35:00.004-05:00

Today was Nathan's first Father's Day as a Daddy. A Big Daddy. My Big Daddy. Aiden's Awesome Daddy. Basically a Daddy that rocks. It's been really amazing for me to see Nathan being a Daddy to Aiden as he's grown up the past 11 months. Today was the day to celebrate him in all his Daddy glory.

I remember back to June of last year and Father's Day in particular and the frequent and sarcastic comments from Nate how he wasn't really looking forward to being a dad as it made him sound old. Yes, exactly what I was thinking. Thirty is so old. For whatever reason, some people just don't think they have what it takes to be a Dad, or a Mom for that matter. And it is true that some people don't, but this is not the case for Nathan. Though he might not have thought so at the time, I have known all along that he would be an amazing Dad. Just one look at the heart he has in him will reassure any doubt you might have about that fact.

That said, what a miracle it has been for me to see his remarkable transformation from this guy who wasn't all that sure about bringing a kiddo into the world to this guy who LOVES the mess out of our little dude. They have this fun and very special relationship; bond, if you will. Aiden loves play time with Nate. So much so that he rarely (and by rare I mean like once a month or something) lets him put him down to sleep - for bed, for naps, whatever. To him Nate = PLAY and play only. On the flip side, I = sleep, comfort, and food. Sometimes play, but not as often as he runs to Nathan for those times. And though sometimes I wish I was the play person, I realize how glad I am that he can associate Nathan with playtime because so many little dudes don't get that kind of time with their dad as often as he does, so they don't really know what Dad is there for! Lucky for us, this is not the case with our Daddy Nate.

Nathan's love for Aiden has been something so special for me to watch develop over time as Aiden has grown up and I anxiously await how much more it will grow in the Father's Days to come. So while we didn't do anything super amazing to celebrate today, we spent the day letting Nate be what he does best, be Aiden's Dad. Though it was a fairly low-key day, it was special because we got to have lunch with Beth, Daniel, Ryder, and the little one on the way as they were visiting from Austin. We celebrated our hubbies and daddies over lunch and catching up on their life in Austin and ours here. Fun times. Miss them lots and it was fun to see the two boys (3 months apart) hanging out and chilln' at the table chowing down on their "people food." Crazy that last year that couldn't have happened.

The group after a great Father's Day lunch.

There he is in all his scary glory.

Beach Trip 2009

2009-06-16T16:35:00.007-05:00

Oh, the ever loving beach. It is something I look forward to with anxious anticipation from the minute I leave every year until the minute I return. Why? So many reasons...too many to list, but there is something wild and wonderful about the ocean, the sand, the waves, the sunrises, sunsets, and the way it all works together in tandem to be the all encompassing reality of a dream that is the beach.

This year marks the first year we had our little dude in tow and while we knew it would be a different kind of vacation (in that it wouldn't really be a true vacation in the sense of complete and utter relaxation), we knew it would be enough to clear our heads, give us some time away, and enable us to enjoy our little family unit in our very favorite spot of ocean. We were interested to see how Aiden would like the ocean and sand as we had all kinds of varying opinions from our friends based on how their kids liked it, so we went into it hopeful, but not terribly optimistic. Regardless, our trip was slightly easier than originally planned as we headed down via plane rather than attempting the 8 hour trek by car. Our little dude doesn't care too much for the car as it inhibits his ability to get around, and he's not at the DVD watching age yet, so we opted to fly, probably for the last time before we start trying to make the trip by car. Flight there was full of eating (for Aiden - to distract him from the desire to walk), but we made it to the beach and were able to breath in the salty smell in less than a half a day. Success.

My parents arrived to spend a couple of nights with us and I took Dad around to show him the lay of the land where we were staying and then headed out onto the beach to secure our chairs for the week. We had a nice time hanging out before bringing Aiden down to discover his sense of smell, taste, and views of the vast expanse of ocean. He didn't quite know what to make of it, the ocean, that is, but he wasn't quite as scared as I thought...and really quite enjoyed his time in the sand. He made multiple attempts to eat it, some successful, which was quite a funny thing.

The hours became days and the days passed too quickly. Nate and I took our annual trip to the Red Bar, a few beaches away from where we stay, which is something we always look forward to. We filled the week with lots of lounging and naps, good meals at great local restaurants, fun shopping trips, biking around the nearby towns, and taking long runs on the beach. I could stay there forever. Someday I think I will.

The thing that is too much to encompass in any amount of writing, was having Aiden at the beach with us. It was surreal to see and have my little dude there with us taking in the ocean and pools, the environment, the people. Last year he was just this little figment of our imagination...we had no idea what the little baby inside my belly would look like or be like, how he would experience things, what his voice would sound like, or that he would take his very first steps all by himself across the room at our beachouse. All of it just fit together perfectly.

How nice it is to forget what day of the week it is every now and then. I wish that happened more often! Even though it wasn't the most relaxing vacation...at least like those in years past when we could spend 12 hours on the beach without caring what time it was or what we'd eaten...it was one I won't soon forget and one I wouldn't trade. I look forward to going back...hopefully sooner than a year from now. A few pics from our trip...for more click here.

Memorial Day 2009

2009-05-26T13:06:00.006-05:00

Memorial Day is upon us...that means the end of May is right around the corner. It also means the kids pool is now open all week long and they'll get out of the adult pool. It also means Aiden is almost 11 months old. And most of all, it means our trip to the beach is literally just around the corner. Whoop!

My parents offered to keep Aiden for the weekend since she had the last few weeks of May off, so I took Thursday off to go meet her for the exchange. Now, Aiden hates the carseat for any longer than 40 minutes or so mostly because he's so mobile now...I mean maybe a few weeks from walking completely on his own type of mobile. We've been down to one hand for a while now, and he takes a few steps here and there, but all he wants to do is walk, so walk is what we do. Anyway, I met her Thursday and miracle of all miracles the trip wasn't so bad. He fell asleep and had a nice solid nap while I drove, which was a nice change of pace from the typical screaming I am used to. Nathan was traveling (Phoenix, as usual), so I was heading back to have a day and a half ALONE. It was quite surreal to think about, but also such a neat treat.

Now, the key is that I had to remember what to do without a baby in tow! :)

I got back Thursday night and enjoyed cleaning up, taking a bath, skipping dinner (since I didn't have to make it for anyone!), and just relaxing. Friday I went to get my "hair did" and spent the afternoon at the pool despite the cloudy day. It was nice to just sit and read my book and not worry some kid was going to bang Aiden on the head with their water gun. Went over to hang out with my awesome buddies Jamie and Kevin's and had a great night of movies, pizza, and beer before heading home. Nate got in about 3 in the morning, but thankfully I was so out of it I didn't know he'd even gotten home till the next morning. We got up fairly early and went to have breakfast at Franklin Mercantile, one of our local favorites. We had a great time chatting it up and realizing that we had the whole day together, just the two of us. It was a nice realization and I will say one drastic change in our time alone is that the level of conversation changes dramatically when you don't have a baby with you. For the better, obviously, not that it's bad when we do have Aiden with us, it's just not as deep. Does that make sense? You're caring for this little person all the time and sometimes you neglect to go beyond the surface of some topics because you're either distracted or busy or worried or whatever...so it was nice to have some time to really dig deep and enjoy that bond.

Saturday was great...just relaxing and fun. We headed down to Nashville for a supurb dinner at Sunset Grill and dessert at Ben and Jerry's. Ice cream is so good on a warm summer night. We finished the night chillin' on our porch enjoying the amazing star-filled sky that is so breathtaking from our neighborhood in the country. Ahhh...and knowing you don't have to get up at 6:30 the next morning makes for a beautiful night's rest! Ha.

Sunday was another day of relaxing...though we did interrupt it with some errands and such along the way. That afternoon our neighborhood had a Memorial Day picnic with a band and crawfish, grilling out, etc. It was fun to hang out with the neighbors, but with all the kids running around out there, it made me miss my sweet little dude. We were off to pick him up first thing Monday morning and had a great time seeing him again. Enjoyed a nice breakfast at Cracker Barrel before heading back out on the road with our little dude in tow. It was nice to have him back. He had a great time at Mimi and Pops and discovered a lot of fun things, loved walking around and finding out how things work at their house, meeting new people, and last but not least discovering the joy of his tricycle....which he's not sure if he should ride or push! :)
We stopped at another Memorial Day bash on our way back to town and for once the place actually had more kids than dogs. Kind of a rarity most of the time, but a nice treat for all of us with the kiddos.

How grateful I am to have loving parents to care for my baby boy, and give him some fun things to do so my hubby and I can feel like adults every now and then!

Playing with the mirror...and dishwasher. This boy loves to clean!

Meal time!

Pops posing the the teething boy...and Mimi with him after his bath-a-roo!

Smiling, happy guy!

Figuring out if he should ride it or push it...so funny!

Picking up the dude...I was so happy to see him!

Girls Day Away

2009-05-17T13:05:00.003-05:00

About three weeks ago I was chatting with my friend Meghan, who lives in Atlanta, and we were talking about how we needed to plan a little day trip to hang out with each other since we hadn't gotten to hug in a long time. So we picked a day and decided to meet half way in Chattanooga, about a 2 hour drive for both of us. And today was the day. It marks the first time I've been away from Aiden on my own, so it was kind of a big deal. Not really, just kind of.

I got up early and left my boys alone (hoping Nate would remember all I told him and not to forget to feed him!) and headed out on the rainy road to Chattanoonga and was looking forward to lunch at this great place we'd picked out. After we both arrived and did our fair share of hugging, we went out on a mission to find the spot despite knowing nothing about the city we found ourselves in. After about 6 circles, we finally found it and discovered that of all the oddities they were closed all weekend. Every weekend. Not just this one. Why in the world you'd be closed on Saturday seems fairly odd to me, but oh well...turns out that wasn't the only odd thing about C-town. Luckily we had a few back up options, so we headed to River Street Deli, which we heard was a little hole in the wall with some of the best food in town. Though it took us some time to find parking, and the place was kind of odd to find, I will say the food was quite good...made to order, nice staff, and big portions. Good times.

As we sat in the basement hole in the wall deli drinking our tea, we had a great time catching up on the happenings of life, pondering what would happen in the future, gathering advice about what we're going to do with our lives, and just being girls. It was a great lunch. Then we were off to walk the streets to see if there were any shops interesting enough to buy something from. And while there were some cute stores, we couldn't help but be deterred by the very strong odor coming from certain crowds of people as we walked past. It seemed as though this area we found ourselves in was crawling with somewhat of a bohemian culture, and obviously one that thinks bathing is optional. After a few too many breaths of not so pleasant air, we were off to find ourselves some coffee and a treat.

We ended up in an art district with some iced coffee that took way too long to order, and a nice sized chocolate chip cookie. We watched a wedding begin as we continued conversations about life, love, and how grateful we were to be away from that smell. One more random stop later and we decided it was time to head on back. After all I did need to make sure Nate hadn't let Aiden ride any bulls on their trip to the Franklin rodeo.

It was such a fun day, and though I had to face pouring rain the entire way back, I was so grateful for my sweet friend who drove two hours just to spend the day with her mom friend. We had such a great time catching up and it made me wish Atlanta was just that much closer to Nashville. It's a great thing to be able to be yourself with girls...it doesn't happen very often. Girls are a rare breed. Judgemental, lacking self-confidence, jealous, just plain mean, always full of drama, and so much more. To be able to spend time with girls without all that junk is priceless. And finding out about a great sale on a super cute pair of shoes makes it all worth it.

My First Mother's Day

2009-05-11T13:04:00.008-05:00

This year marked the first year I was a Mom on Mother's Day and even though Aiden doesn't really get all that stuff, he didn't really have to in order to make it an amazing day. Becoming a mother has been such an incredible gift, one I thought for so long wouldn't be possible, but a dream I am now so glad did come true. Who would have thought this precious little boy could have rocked my world in such a huge way over the past 10 months. It's pretty amazing. Though some might say that being a mom is over-rated or not that much work, I beg to differ. There's nothing over-rated about it, and there's also a lot more work to it than it looks like from the outside. I guess you'll never know till you do it, but I admire my mom and so many other moms out there who do it all and do it all with grace, poise, character, and love. It's tough to give unconditionally all the time, but as tough as it is, it's also immeasurably rewarding. Okay, so enough of that.

Nathan had his own surprise up his sleeve in Aiden's outfit...he had a onesie made that said MY MOM ROCKS (and the word rocks was in rock print - so cute!). My card reminded me I had been a mom for 302 days (can you believe he's that old!?!?) and was so cute! I love both my boys. What a special memory. We headed off to meet my parents at Panera - they drove up to help celebrate the day with us. After breakfast, we headed back to our house for nap time and I ventured out on a celebratory run with my dad. My parents gave me this beautiful blue hydrangea for us to plant at the house, so it would always be a reminder of my first Mother's Day and my special boy. My, how time flies.

We finished out the day by going to see Baby Madden get dedicated to the church - so sweet. A great end to Mother's Day. It was a super duper fun day filled with a lot of love, emotion, and a lot of memories. I can't wait to celebrate more! :)

My sweet boy in his Mom's Day shirt!

Pretty hydrangea!

My big daddy!

This kid seriously loves to eat. And is not ashamed about it!

My dad (Pops), Aiden, and bro

My First Half Marathon

2009-04-21T14:50:00.004-05:00

I officially accomplished at least ONE of my things to do in 2009! Hooray! Though on the outset it seemed as though a half marathon would prove nearly impossible to complete, after some rigorous training thanks to my awesome coach (my dear old Dad), some tough runs, and some minor injuries, I completed my first half marathon.

Friday night my little family of three traveled to Harriman, TN for the race the next morning. It's about 2 and a half hours from Nashville, and Aiden really hated the drive! For real! Nate got me some carbo grub and we hit the hay for an early morning.

The race was in downtown Harriman, and it was such a cute little town. It began and ended in this little park along a river, so it was quite beautiful. The morning was dry and chilly, but perfect for a long run. After some preparation, stretching, and a good cup of coffee, I was off to run my race amongst the other 100 or so runners. Amazingly enough, I was the second place woman OVERALL, first in my age group, AND I beat my goal time by 20 minutes and my "dream time" by 5 minutes...and still felt AMAZING after it was all said and done.

Needless to say, I think I caught the "bug" and found myself wanting to run another one very soon. The downside to that is it's now summer and all the races are short distances. So maybe I'll start training for a full marathon and see what happens. Not sure what to do. I know I'll keep running and I'll definitely do more halves. It's a fun distance to run and I learned a lot along the way. Through my training I learned that speed days, hill days, tempo runs, and long runs only serve as preparation for the final goal and while not fun, the work truly does pay off. And I guess I can apply that to life as well...though there are some times in my life I have to do things I really hate doing or that are completely uncomfortable (even painful), it will pay off as I continue down the road of life...and the next time that challenge rolls around, it will be cake compared to what it was the first time. It's all in your perspective.

But what a fun experience, one I will remember. Especially having that cute little guy (well TWO cute little guys) there at the finish line waiting for me! You can see all the pics here.

He got to go and spend the night with Mimi and Pops after the race, which gave them some great one on one time with him and gave Nate and I a brief "staycation" at our house. It was the first time we'd been at our house without the little man there. It was kind of odd, but also quite a treat. We missed him, but he had fun on his trip! Here's some pics from his little adventure with the tricycle and exploring the outdoors! :)

And from the race:

Getting out my pre-race jitters with my little boy.

Getting ready to go!

Dad came and joined me as I passed this girl around mile 8. Felt so good!

My sweet family...

My medal for finishing...trophy too!

Grandma & Papaw's First Visit

2009-04-21T14:44:00.005-05:00

This week Aiden's Great-Grandma and Papaw came to visit. These are my grandparents on my Mom's side. Neither of them had met them yet, so they flew in from Texas for the day. It was short, but fun, and he had a ball getting to know them and they enjoyed spending some quality time with their first great-grandbaby!

We had a little lunch at the house and then played some before nap time. The adults caught up during Aiden's nap and then it was off to an early dinner at...you guessed it...Pueblo Real!Seriously, we eat there once a week. Not even kidding. After my grandparents left to head to their hotel, we finished up dinner and were playing around at the table. Aiden, the lover of anything food, was sucking on a chip and discovering that taste and feel. None of us quite know how, but he managed to get a bite off and it choked him...so much so we had to pump his stomach three times just to get it out. It was one of the scariest moments of my short-lived life as a mother, and one I don't wish to relive anytime soon.
(yes, that is the chip!!)
How much it makes you think about how precious their little lives are and how easily things can change. Literally seconds can separate life and death.

I am grateful Grandma and Papaw were able to come visit us in Franklin. It was a fun day! We hope to get to Texas sometime soon so the rest of the Poage clan can meet this boy!

My little hiatus

2009-04-10T15:41:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've blogged anything, which isn't to say I haven't had anything to say, Lord knows that never happens. I just needed a break in more ways than one and didn't really feel like writing much of it down. The past few weeks (well, months, really) have been quite crazy and in fact, downright overwhelming, so I just didn't really take time to blog about it. More than likely, I'll let it all be water under the bridge and just catch up to speed on what's going on now, but we'll see.

Since we have been back from Colorado, the weather has ushered us from cold to warm, the back to cold and back to warm. Oh the joys of spring in Middle Tennessee. We've braved our share of tornado sirens already and Aiden and I had a big scare one late afternoon when hail was about the size of golf balls. Of course, it was right at dinner, so I ended up taking all of it into our safe room (our closet!!) and finishing it there. Hopefully he didn't pick up on how scared I really was to be all alone in such a storm. I was brave!

Nathan has been traveling quite a bit - was in Phoenix for 12 days straight in fact. I always say, "Poo" on those types of trips. His work keeps him super busy for sure.

When he got back I headed to Charlotte to do some things at the office. Some good, others not so good. Regardless, it was good to be back albeit a bit depressing. The unemployment rate there has skyrocketed and the whole city seems to be in a constant state of head down. It's kind of sad, but it makes me really understand another reason God has us here. I don't have to see that every day or be one of them.

It's been a month of ups and downs as I said before and the drama never ceases to amaze me. As much as I try to avoid it in my life, it manages to find me one way or the other. Thank goodness God gave me a sweet baby boy who will hopefully have only a fraction of the drama a girl would have brought with her. He really knows what we need at the time we need it.

Three months away from ONE YEAR?!

2009-04-09T10:05:00.000-05:00

Either that, or Aiden's nine months old. How in the world we got here, I'll never know. Hard to believe that at this time last year, this little dude wasn't even in our worlds and now he's the biggest (and best) part! He's nearly walking, "talking" up a storm, and is still the same bundle of laughing, joyous energy he always has been as his personality continues to explode!

Luckily I still have this cute little peanut of a boy. After his nine month checkup, he's still hanging out at the bottom of his weight curve, around a pound a month. But if you saw this boy eat you would wonder how in the world he's only 16 pounds! I often wonder myself. It never ceases to amaze me that as soon as he finishes eating he can continue as if he'd never eaten a thing. Where he gets this, I am not sure...but I am thinking I'm going to have a little helper in the kitchen before long! I can't tell you how much this excites me!

I love this age he is. He's so curious, so excited about everything, and in such a discovery mode. It's really neat to watch him learn how to do things, watch things work, discover chain reactions and cause and effect, etc. We had Mommy and Me swim at our neighborhood pool and despite being the only one under 2 in his little group, he did swimmingly! We had a fun time each day in the pool as we learned new games, dipped under water, tasted the saltwater pool, did the backstroke (in our unique baby way), and just experienced the fun of the water. It makes me really look forward to the beach in a few weeks...yes, weeks!! Summer is almost here and I can hear the waves beckoning us. Can't wait to share that with you!

Our buddy Jacob was in town on business, so he came to stay with us for the night and had fun playing with Aiden.

And Reagan always stops by on her afternoon bicycle ride to say hello and "hold" baby Aiden. She's asking to hold him here...so cute!